Sometimes I wish I was
even more awesome
than I already am
What would my life be like
if I turned that shit up to 11
out of a possible 5
Ninja Brian
hand me my cloak
and my staff
and my horn
and that thermos of soup
I'm hungry but also thirsty
and you can kind of like
eat and drink soup
at the same time
Let's go
Woo
Riding straight out of
your imagination
using my magic to
fight against crime
Destroying evil
with powers most awesome
Protecting the weak
almost all of the time
but not on Sundays
Game of Thrones is on
Now is the time
for a man of conviction
The world needs a hero
and I am that guy
That's Ninja Brian
but shut up about him
Let's focus on me because
I am the Unicorn Wizard
riding for justice
on a comet of stars
With the help of my sidekick
Princess Handjob
I'm more awesome
and smarter than I already are
I am the Unicorn Wizard
My spells are amazing
and my reflexes quick
My horn is my strength
and my strength is my power
and my power is my horn
and my horn is my dick
Here's your opportunity
to stop listening
if this song got too amazing for you
No
OK
My life is a party
the guests are supermodels
Operation I Rule
is a total success
Each day I invent
a new form of karate
that changes the way
that Japan views the West
Now that's progress
どういたしまして
Then we retire
to the Chamber of Passion
and bathe in a pool
of strawberries and cream
The strawberries rub
and exfoliate gently
The cream travels places
you can't even dream
How was it
Amazing
You mean uhh-stounding
Yeah you do
I am the Unicorn Wizard
Just like Danny Sexbang
I'm handsome and strong
With the help of my hellhounds
Tinkles and Gary
we punish the wicked
then break into song
I am the Unicorn Wizard
A superhero
for the entire human race
My wand casts a spell
that will unlock the door
and the wand is my junk
and the door is your face
Oh oh oh hey mom
I had the craziest dream
I was the Unicorn Wizard
Unicorn Wizard
You shut up