Yo Ninja Brian
You see that
high schooler over there
getting pushed around
This looks like a job
for the Cool Patrol
Hey kid
You're getting picked on
in school
The other boys
They say you just
ain't cool
Well that's bullshit
We're gonna teach you
the rules
Those motherfuckers ain't
gonna bother you no more
We are the bad boys
from the tough
side of town
We are the Cool Patrol
We'll turn your
life around
Those bullies
their ass is done for now
We're gonna show you how
So fuckin' listen y'all
First you put your hands
in the air
And you jump off
the ground
And then you take that
funky butt and you shake
it all around
And lightly jog in place
and then crank it up
to a prance
This is the Cool Patrol dance
Now put your hands
in your pockets
and take them
right back out
Then spin around
in a circle
and make an animal sound
Then glide into the sprinkler
like you're gonna
water the plants
This is the Cool Patrol dance
Whee
You get all that kid
That wasn't actually
very helpful
That was like
an instructional dance
Hell yeah
Motherfuckin' bullies
better watch their ass
You're sending all them
shits a message
there's a new
king in class
When they see you
they're gonna freak out
and piss their pants
They are your bitches
They are your
bitches because
You put your hands
in the air
And then stick out your
rear end
And then you wiggle it
real hard
and you hug your
closest friend
And then you wildly remove
your clothes and
tearaway pants
This is the Cool Patrol dance
Now rub the peanut butter
on you
from your head
to your feet
And cover up your nudity
with different cheeses
and meats
Then slap a camel
because this could be
your only chance
This is the Cool Patrol dance
Cool break
Alright
This is cool
'scuse me
Hey I have an idea
Let's kick it
Woo
You put your hands
in the air
and grab a bird from
the sky
And eat it whole
so that you may
absorb its power
of flight
Now you can also dive
bomb fish because your
vision's enhanced
This is the Cool Patrol dance
You're basically
a superhero now
so throw some cars
Then rub your
magnum thighs together
and set fire to mars
Now harness
all your sexy fury
in a victory stance
This is the Cool Patrol dance
Your training is complete
Now go show those fuckers
who's boss
Okay
Hey guys listen up
You put your hands in
Oh god
Aw he might
He might actually
be dead