Saturday morning
comes and goes
without too much
on my mind
Except maybe lunch
I walk down to the shops
just to move
Feel a bit rough
from last night
I may have drunk
a bit too much
A lady in the supermarket
approaches way too fast
And her eyes are intense
and she spits a little bit
when she asks
Where do you keep
the pasta
I dunno aisle three
Well can you get it for me
I just want a Gatorade
But she rolls her eyes
so I kind of lose it
Hey I don't work here
And if I did
I would not sell you shit
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
That way I could hide
all of the things
you want from you
Hey I don't work here
But if I did
Would I be wearing
a dirty white singlet
Ya fool
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
Silly me
I've had the pasta
all along
Fuck you
O-woh-oh
O-woh-oh
O-woh-oh
I don't work here
O-woh-oh
O-woh-oh
O-woh-oh
I don't work here
Saturday arvo
comes and goes
and I'm feeling
pretty great
I made a middle-aged woman
cry today
Walking on the hot sand
at Bondi Beach
I take a rest
in the lifeguard tower shade
My foresight readies me
for melee
A man runs
from the surf
and approaches way
too fast
With a bluebottle
across his chest
he shakes me
as he asks
You gotta save my kid
I can't really swim
What kind of lifeguard
are you then
I'm just here
to take a nap
But he rolls his eyes
so I kind of snap
Hey I don't work here
And if I did
I would not save
your kid
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
That way I could help
relieve that nasty sting
for you
Hey I don't work here
But if I did
Would I make a race car out
of sand then fall asleep
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
Maybe I should
Maybe I should
Should do what
save my son
No get a job
What about my son
he's drowning
Your son's fine
he just swims weird
and you shouldn't
hold that against him
Oh my God thank you
I can't begin to
He's gone
Saturday night
comes and goes
without too much
on my mind
Just kicking
a ball down the street
I give it too much juice
and it flies over the fence
of my local NASA compound
Just bear with me
Guards are all passed out
It seems there's been
a planned attack
The alarm is blaring loud
but I'm the only one intact
I try to phone for help
but unfortunately
There's an alien
transmitting itself
to NASA screens specifically
Give us ya planet
Okay I don't
let me find someone alright
just relax
Give us ya planet
I I I said okay
We're under attack
Give us ya planet
Ok I don't have
the authority to do that
I just came
to get my ball
But it's been a long day
so I speak for us all
Ladies and gentlemen
we are reporting live
across the globe
Alarming news
as extraterrestrial life
has issued a statement
of war to planet Earth
The alien transmission technology
has left all but one individual
incapacitated within
the transmission receiving point
a NASA space compound
located in Sydney Australia
The time has come
and humankind can do
nothing more than
pray and watch on
as the diplomat
for planet Earth responds
with what we can only imagine
as an articulate plea
for peace and mercy
Hey I don't work here
And if I did
I would not surrender shit
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
That way I could take
a trip to Mars
and strangle you
Hey I don't work here
But if I did
Do you think
the president of Earth
has a fucking mullet
Hey I don't work here
But maybe I should
That way I could put
my planetary fist in you
That way I could teach your kid
to drown in front of you
That way I could hide
all of the linguini from you