Just one drink gonna
keep it mellow
Responsible night for
a polite fellow
Say hello to my
friends and comrades
Don't tend to offend
so I say perhaps
Just two drinks as
a social courtesy
We can raise a glass
to our past fraternity
And certainly a perfectly
normal informal
get together
But it's been forever
since we gathered
so whatever
Just three drinks for
the sake of the old times
Proceed with tequila shots
with a dish full of
cold limes
The whole nine laughing
remembering all
the old lines
Never used to work but
I could give 'em
another try
Just four drinks y'know
take the edge off
I've had a hard week I
deserve to get sauced
Pick up another round as
my friends depart and
They may not stick around
but I just got started
Feel so much better
than usual
I feel indisputable
Oh
I think that I might
be beautiful
Just five drinks fuckin'
treat myself
Pour the Dom Perignon from
the back of the top shelf
Spend like God put on
airs to sell it
Crowd pretends not to care
but I know they're jealous
Just six drinks let slip
the dogs of war
Gonna start a fuckin'
riot 'til I'm tossed
out the front door
Zero to sixty I can turn on
a dime I'm hitting bottom
And I'm feeling like
committing a crime
Just eight drinks
maybe I've lost count
I can't remember the night
what I drank or the amount
I'm fading in and out my
very consciousness
is crumbling sorry
was I saying something
Twelve drinks strolling
out of the hospital
Is it hair of the dog
if you stay drunk and
don't stop at all
Another night losing it
more than I can afford
Was I just feeling bored
Am I that insecure
Feel so much better
than usual
I feel indisputable
Oh
But now I'm feeling
so beautiful
Don't wake me up from
this spell I'm under if
I'm still breathing
I know that I will
be ugly when
I feel like myself again
Oh
But now I'm feeling
so beautiful
Bottle of scotch served
on the rocks with
a shot of Cachaça
Vodka Sake kamikaze
with a handle of sherry
a Cherry brandy
with a Jaeger chaser
champagne float
A bourbon hot toddy in
teacup of throat coat
Martini Bellini Negroni
Baileys Kahlua Sambuca
Soju paloma mojito gimlet
Frangelico Guinness
Tequila Manhattan a
margarita old fashioned
Dry vermouth and
something I can't taste
'cause I'm so trashed
Soldiering over I'm
slower shoulder to
shoulder with no one
Stumbling sobering making
friends with a smoker
I know I'm less than
upright losing the fight
with the ground
Then someone hits the
lights as they close for
the night now
Try to look at heaven and
I can't see the stars
A billion trillion eyes
are winking as I walk
between parked cars
Metabolizing liquor while
I'm losing my friends
I'm gonna hate myself
tomorrow then I'll
do it again
Feel so much better
than usual
I feel indisputable
Oh
But now I'm feeling
so beautiful
Don't wake me up from
this spell I'm under
if I'm still breathing
I know that I will
be ugly when
I feel like myself again
Oh
But now I'm feeling
so beautiful
My vision is blurry
As long as I'm thirsty
Nobody can hurt me
hurt me hurt me