Well like I explained
To y'all before
I ain't no drinkin' man
I tried it once
And it got me highly irregular
And I swore
I'd never do it again
But I promised
My brother-n-law
That I'd go up
And watch his still
While he went into town to vote
It was right up there
On the mountain
Where the man said it would be
Friends let me tell you
One thing though
It wudn't no ordinary still
It stood up on that
Mountainside like
Like a huge golden opal
God's yellar moon
Was a' shinin
On the cool clear evenin'
God's little lanterns
Just a' twinklin' on and off
In the heavens and like
Like I explained
To you once before
I ain't no drinkin' man
But temptation
Got the best of me
And I took a slash
Wshew woah
That yellar whiskey
Runnin' down my throat
Like honeydew vine water
And I took another slash
And I took another
And another
And another
'Fore you knew it I'd
Downed one whole jug
O' that sh*t
And commenced to
Get hot flashes
Goose pimples was runnin'
Up and down my body
And a feelin' came over me
Like somethin'
I'd never experienced before
It's like like I was in love
Why don't we have
A little love Mike
In love for the first time
With anything that moved
Animate inanimate
It didn't matter
It's like there's
A great neon sign flashin'
On and off in
My brain sayin
Jimmy Buffett
There's a great day a comin
'Cause I was drunk
Now I wadn't uh knee crawlin'
Slip slidin' reggie youngin'
Commode huggin' drunk
I was God's own drunk
And a fearless man
And that's when
I first saw the bear
He was a Kodiak lookin' fella
'Bout nineteen feet tall
He rambled up over
The hill 'spectin' me to do one
Of two things
Flip or fly
I didn't do either one
It hung him up
He starts sniffin'
A 'round my body
Tryin' to smell fear
But he ain't gonna smell no fear
'Cause I'm God's own drunk
And a fearless man
And it hung him up
He looked me right
In my eyes
And my eyes was a lot
Redder than his was
It hung him up
So I approached him and I said
Mr Bear
I love every hair
On your twenty seven acred body
I know you got a lotta friends
Over there on the other side
Of the hill
There's ole' Rear Bear
Tall Bear Freddy Bear Kelly Jair
Relly Bear Smelly the Bear
Smokey the Bear
Pokey the Bear
I want you to go
Back over there tonight
And tell 'em I'm feelin' right
You tell 'em I love
Each and every one of 'em
Like a brother and a sister
But if they give me
Any trouble tonight
I'm gonna run every
Goddamed one of 'em
Off the hill
He took two steps backwards
And didn't know what to think
Neither did I
But being charitable
And cautious
Well ****
I approached him again
And I said
Mr Bear
You know in the eyes
Of the Lord we're both beasts
When it comes right down to it
So I want you to be my buddy
Buddy Bear
So I took ole' Buddy Bear
By his island sized paw
And I led him over to the still
Now he's a' sniffin'
Around that thing
'Cause he's smellin'
Somethin' good
I gave him one of them jugs
Of honeydew vine water
He downed it upright
Looked like one of them
**** bears in the circus sippin'
Sasparilly in the moonlight
I gave him another and another
And another
'Fore he knew it
He'd downed eight of 'em
And commenced
To do the bear dance
Two sniffs a snort a fly
A turn and a grunt
And it was so simple
Like the jitterbug
It plumb evaded me
And we worked ourselves
Into a tumultuous uproar
And I's awful tired
Went over to the hillside
And I laid down
Went to sleep
Slept for four hours
And dreamt me
Some tremulous dreams
And when I woke up
Oh there was
God's yellar moon
A' shinin
On the clear cool evenin'
And God's little lanterns
Just a' twinklin' on and off
In the heavens
And my buddy the bear
Was a' missin'
Yeah
You want to know somethin' else
Friends and neighbors
So was that still