She left for someone
so much slimmer than me
my confidence wrecked
like a ship in the sea
But I got allotment
and I've got the shed
I got the toys and the kids
who'll drop dead
I've got the confidence
nipped in the bud
I've got the backchat
that does me no good
Just when you think
she can't get no more cold
she's emptied the freezer
and left me the mould
Just when you think
she's got all
that you've got
she got the roof
and left chimney pot
Just when you think
she can't get any lower
she got the garden
left you the mower
the mower
When I asked why
she found somebody else
she answered me
"Why just take
a look at yourself"
Just when I felt
it was as low as it gets
she's left me the dog food
and taken the pets
I got the new flat
a fridge full of beer
and you've got
the new friend
who's loving you here
Loving you here
in what once was my bed
and I got the couch
or a mattress instead
Just when you think
she's got all
that you've got
she got the roof
and left chimney pot
Just when you think
she can't get any lower
she got the garden
left you the mower
the mower
Just when you think
she's got all
that you've got
Just when
you're stood there
in permanent shock
You spent your last penny
and lost your last sock
She's got the acres
and you've lost the plot
Just when you think
she's got all
that you've got
she got the roof
and left chimney pot
Just when you think
she can't get any lower
she got the garden
left you the mower
Just when you think
she's got all
that you've got
she got the roof
and left chimney pot
Just when you think
she can't get any lower
she got the garden
left you the mower
the mower, the mower
the mower