WELL WHEN I WAS A KID
I'D TAKE A TRIP
EVERY SUMMER
DOWN TO MISSISSIP'
TO VISIT MY GRANNY IN
HER ANTEBELLUM WORLD
I'D RUN BAREFOOTED
ALL DAY LONG
CLIMBIN' TREES
FREE AS A SONG
ONE DAY I HAPPENED
TO CATCH MYSELF
A SQUIRREL
WELL I STUFFED HIM
DOWN IN
AN OLD SHOE BOX
AND PUNCHED A COUPLE
HOLES IN THE TOP
WHEN SUNDAY CAME
I SNUCK HIM
INTO CHURCH
I WAS SITTIN' WAY BACK
IN THE VERY LAST PEW
SHOWIN' HIM TO
MY GOOD BUDDY HUGH
WHEN THAT SQUIRREL
GOT LOOSE AND WENT
TOTALLY BERSERK
A-WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS HARD TO TELL
SOME THOUGHT
IT WAS HEAVEN
OTHERS THOUGHT
IT WAS HELL
BUT THE FACT THAT
SOMETHIN' WAS
AMONG US
WAS PLAIN TO SEE
AS THE CHOIR SANG
I SURRENDER ALL
THE SQUIRREL RUN UP
HARVE NEWMAN'S
COVERALLS
AND HARVE
LEAPED TO HIS FEET
AND SAID SOMETHIN'S
GOT A HOLD ON ME
YOW
THE DAY THE SQUIRREL
WENT BERSERK
IN THE FIRST
SELF-RIGHTEOUS
CHURCH
IN THAT SLEEPY
LITTLE TOWN
OF PASCAGOULA
IT WAS A FIGHT
FOR SURVIVAL
A-THAT BROKE OUT
IN REVIVAL
THEY WERE JUMPIN' PEWS
AND SHOUTIN'
HALLELUJAH
WELL HARVE
HIT THE AISLES DANCIN'
AND SCREAMIN'
SOME THOUGHT
HE HAD RELIGION
OTHERS THOUGHT
HE HAD A DEMON
AND HARVE THOUGHT
HE HAD A WEED EATER
LOOSE IN HIS
FRUIT OF THE LOOMS
HE FELL TO HIS KNEES
TO PLEAD AND BEG
AND THE SQUIRREL
RAN OUT OF HIS
BRITCHES LEG
UNOBSERVED
TO THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE ROOM
ALL THE WAY DOWN
TO THE AMEN PEW
WHERE SAT
SISTER BERTHA
BETTER-THAN-YOU
WHO'D BEEN WATCHING
ALL THE COMMOTION
WITH SADISTIC GLEE
BUT SHOOT
YOU SHOULDA SEEN
THE LOOK IN HER EYES
WHEN THAT SQUIRREL
JUMPED HER GARTERS
AND CROSSED
HER THIGHS
AND SHE JUMPED
TO HER FEET
AND SAID
LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME
AS THE SQUIRREL
MADE LAPS
INSIDE HER DRESS
SHE BEGAN TO CRY
AND THEN TO CONFESS
TO SINS THAT WOULD
MAKE A SAILOR
BLUSH WITH SHAME
SHE TOLD OF GOSSIP
AND CHURCH DISSENSION
BUT THE THING THAT GOT
THE MOST ATTENTION
WAS WHEN
SHE TALKED ABOUT
HER LOVE LIFE AND
THEN SHE STARTED
NAMIN' NAMES
THE DAY THE SQUIRREL
WENT BERSERK
IN THE FIRST
SELF-RIGHTEOUS
CHURCH
IN THAT SLEEPY
LITTLE TOWN
OF PASCAGOULA
IT WAS A FIGHT
FOR SURVIVAL
A-THAT BROKE OUT
IN REVIVAL
THEY WERE JUMPIN' PEWS
AND SHOUTIN'
HALLELUJAH
WELL SEVEN DEACONS
AND THE PASTOR
GOT SAVED
AND TWENTY-FIVE
THOUSAND DOLLARS
GOT RAISED
AND FIFTY
VOLUNTEERED FOR
MISSIONS IN THE CONGO
ON THE SPOT
AND EVEN WITHOUT
AN INVITATION
THERE WERE AT LEAST
FIVE HUNDRED
REDEDICATIONS
AND WE ALL GOT
REBAPTIZED
WHETHER WE NEEDED IT
OR NOT
NOW YOU'VE HEARD
THE BIBLE STORY
I GUESS
HOW HE PARTED
THE WATERS
FOR MOSES TO PASS
OH THE MIRACLES
GOD HAS WROUGHT
IN THIS OLD WORLD
BUT THE ONE
I'LL REMEMBER
TILL MY DYIN' DAY
IS HOW HE PUT
THAT CHURCH BACK ON
THE NARROW WAY
WITH A HALF-CRAZED
MISSISSIPPI SQUIRREL
A-THE DAY THE SQUIRREL
WENT BERSERK
IN THE FIRST
SELF-RIGHTEOUS
CHURCH
IN THAT SLEEPY
LITTLE TOWN
OF PASCAGOULA
IT WAS A FIGHT
FOR SURVIVAL
A-THAT BROKE OUT
IN REVIVAL
THEY WERE JUMPIN' PEWS
AND SHOUTIN'
HALLELUJAH
A-THE DAY THE SQUIRREL
WENT BERSERK
IN THE FIRST
SELF-RIGHTEOUS
CHURCH
IN THAT SLEEPY
LITTLE TOWN
OF PASCAGOULA
IT WAS A FIGHT
FOR SURVIVAL
A-THAT BROKE OUT
IN REVIVAL
THEY WERE JUMPIN' PEWS
AND SHOUTIN'
HALLELUJAH