May I have your attention please

Will the real

Slim Shady please stand up

I repeat

Will the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen

A white person before

Jaws all on the floor like Pam

Like Tommyjust burst in the door

And started whoopin her ass

Worse than before

They first were divorce

Throwin her over furniture

It's the return of the

''Ah wait no way you're kidding

He didn'tjust say

What I think he did did he ''

And Dr. Dre said

Nothing you idiots

Dr. Dre's dead

He's locked in my basement

Feminist women love Eminem

Chigga chigga chigga

''Slim Shady I'm sick of him

Look at him

Walkin around grabbin

His you-know-what

Flippin the you-know-who ''

''Yeah but he's so cute though ''

Yeah I probably got

A couple of screws

Up in my head loose

But no worse

Than what's goin on

In your parents' bedrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV

And just let loose but can't

But it's cool for Tom Green

To hump a dead moose

''My bum is on your lips

My bum is on your lips''

And if I'm lucky

You mightjust give it

A little kiss

And that's the message

That we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know

What a woman's clxtoris is

Of course they gonna know

What intercourse is

By the time

They hit fourth grade

They got the Discovery Channel

Don't they

''We ain't nothing but mammals

'' Well some of us cannibals

Who cut other people open

Like cantaloupes

But ifwe can hump dead animals

And antelope

Then there's no reason

That a man and another man

Can't elope

But ifyou feel like I feel

I got the antidote

Women wave your pantyhose

Sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Will Smith

Don't gotta cuss in his raps

To sell his records

Well I do so fxxk him

And fxxk you too

You think I give a damn

About a Grammy

Half ofyou critics

Can't even stomach me

Let alone stand me

''But Slim what ifyou win

Wouldn't it be weird ''

Why So you guys

Could just lie to get me here

So you can sit me here

Next to Britney Spears

Shxt Christina Aguilera

Better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to

Carson Daly and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue

Over who she gave head to first

You little bxtch

Put me on bIast on MTV

''Yeah he's cute

But I think he's married

To Kim hee-hee ''

I should download

Her audio on MP3

And show the whole world

How you gave Eminem VD

I'm sick ofyou little girl

And boy groups

All you do is annoy me

So I have been sent here

To destroy you

And there's a million of us

Just like me

Who cuss like me

Who just don't give a fxxk

Like me

Who dress like me

Walk talk and act like me

And just might be the next

Best thing but not quite me

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

I'm like a head trip

To listen to

Cause I'm only givin you

Things you joke about

With your friends

Inside your living room

The only difference is

I got the balls to say it

In front ofy'all and

I don't gotta be false

Or sugarcoated at all

I just get on the mic

And spit it

And whether you

Like to admit it

I just shxt it

Better than ninety percent

Ofyou rappers out can

Then you wonder

How can kids eat up these albums

Like valiums

It's funny

Cause at the rate

I'm goin when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person

In the nursin home flirting

Pinchin nurses asses

When I'm jxckin off with Jergens

And I'm jerkin

But this whole bag ofViagra

Isn't working

And every single person

Is a Slim Shady lurkin

He could be workin

At Burger King

Spittin on your onion rings

Or in the parkin lot

Circling

Screaming ''I don't give a fxxk ''

With his windows down

And his system up

So will the real Shady

Please stand up

And put one of those fingers

On each hand up

And be proud to be

Outta your mind and

Outta control

And one more time

Loud as you can

How does it go

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys

Are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady

Please stand up

Ha ha

Guess there's a Slim Shady

In all of us

Fxxk it let's all stand up

The Real Slim Shady Karaoke

LyricsThe Real Slim Shady