I WOKE UP THIS MORNING
WITH A BAD HANGOVER
AND MY PENIS
WAS MISSING AGAIN
THIS HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME
IT'S DETACHABLE
THIS COMES IN HANDY
A LOT OF THE TIME
I CAN LEAVE IT HOME
WHEN I THINK IT'S
GOING TO GET ME
IN TROUBLE
OR I CAN RENT IT OUT
WHEN I DON'T NEED IT
BUT NOW AND THEN
I GO TO A PARTY
GET DRUNK
AND THE NEXT MORNING
I CAN'T
FOR THE LIFE OF ME
REMEMBER
WHAT I DID WITH IT
FIRST I LOOKED AROUND
MY APARTMENT
AND I COULDN'T FIND IT
SO I CALLED UP
THE PLACE
WHERE THE PARTY WAS
THEY HADN'T SEEN IT
EITHER
I ASKED THEM TO CHECK
THE MEDICINE CABINET
'CAUSE
FOR SOME REASON
I LEAVE IT THERE
SOMETIMES BUT
NOT THIS TIME
SO I TOLD THEM
IF IT POPS UP
TO LET ME KNOW
I CALLED A FEW PEOPLE
WHO WERE AT THE PARTY
BUT THEY WERE NO HELP
EITHER
I WAS STARTING
TO GET DESPERATE
I REALLY DON'T LIKE
BEING WITHOUT MY PENIS
FOR TOO LONG
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE
LESS OF A MAN AND
I REALLY HATE
HAVING TO SIT DOWN
EVERY TIME I TAKE A LEAK
AFTER A FEW HOURS OF
SEARCHING THE HOUSE
AND CALLING EVERYONE
I COULD THINK OF
I WAS STARTING TO GET
VERY DEPRESSED SO
I WENT TO THE KIEV
AND ATE BREAKFAST
THEN AS I WALKED DOWN
SECOND AVENUE
TOWARDS
ST. MARK'S PLACE WHERE
ALL THOSE PEOPLE
SELL USED BOOKS
AND OTHER JUNK
ON THE STREET
I SAW MY PENIS
LYING ON A BLANKET
NEXT TO
A BROKEN TOASTER OVEN
SOME GUY WAS
SELLING IT
I HAD TO BUY IT OFF HIM
HE WANTED
TWENTY-TWO BUCKS
BUT I TALKED HIM DOWN
TO SEVENTEEN
I TOOK IT HOME
WASHED IT OFF
AND PUT IT BACK ON
I WAS HAPPY AGAIN
COMPLETE
PEOPLE SOMETIMES
TELL ME
I SHOULD GET IT
PERMANENTLY ATTACHED
BUT I DON'T KNOW
EVEN THOUGH
SOMETIMES
IT'S A PAIN IN THE A##
I LIKE HAVING
A DETACHABLE PENIS