I'm sitting in my chair
watching the TV
It's not even on
but there's plenty
for me to see
I just lit
some crazy-ass shit
that my friend
overnight mailed to me
I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit
I ever tasted
I think
they fucking laced it
'Cause I'm so damn
lambasted ooh
My friend came over
so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy
with this shit
but he didn't believe
the hype
He sparked three bows
just to show
he could take it
Two minutes later
he was playing
backgammon naked
He's fucking wasted
It's the best shit
he ever tasted
He's lost
in fucking spaced-ed
'Cause he's so wicked
wicked wasted
Oh I spent
the last two hours
hiding under my bed
'Cause I looked
in the garbage can
and I think I saw
my Uncle Louie's head
I'm fucking wasted
Well my friend blew a hit
into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically
and started to moonwalk
all over the place
He tripped over
the toaster wire
and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us
and he started to speak
I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit
I've ever tasted
My brain's
been erased-ed
Well fucking fried
Now I'm sitting
in the bathtub
wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza
the bird said
Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up
four hours later
handed me his shoe
I said
We ordered pizza buddy
what the hell's up with you
I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit
I ever fucking tasted
Oh fucking shit
I'm way too baked
Aha no