I used to be the king,
the king of old Broadway
The best of ev'rything
was mine to have each day
I always had the biggest hits
The biggest bathrooms
at the Ritz
My showgirls had the
biggest tits!
I never was the bitch
in any way!
We believe you,
thousands wouldn't
We believe you,
ev'ry word
We believe you,
thousands couldn't
We believe each
word we've heard
I used to be the king
The King?
The king of old Broadway...
lt's good to be the king!
My praises they would sing
A Ziegfeld so they'd say
My shows were always
filled with class
The best champagnes
would fill my glass
My lap was filled
with gorgeous ass
You couldn't call me crass
in any way!
We believe you,
thousands wouldn't
We believe you,
ev'ry word
We believe you,
thousands couldn't
We believe each
word we've heard
There was a time
When I was young and gay...
But straight
There was a time
When I was bold
There was a time
When each and ev'ry play
I touched
Would turn to gold
There was a time
He wore the finest clothes
His shoes were always new
Ahh!
Now I wear a rented tux
That's two weeks overdue!
Poor Bialy, what a shmoozer
Poor Bialy, what a shame
Poor Bialy, what a loser
Poor Bialy, goodbye fame
Such reviews!
How dare they insult me
in this manner?
How quickly they forget.
I am Max Bialystock!
The first producer ever to do
summer stock in the winter!
Once he was the king...
You've heard of Theatre
in the Round?
You're looking at the man
who invented Theatre
in the Square!
Nobody had a good seat!
King of old Broadway
I've spent my entire life
in the theater.
I was a protege
of the great
Boris Tomaschevski.
Ooh!
Yes. He taught me
everything I know.
I'll never forget,
he turned to me
on his deathbed and said,
''Maxella, alle menschen
muss zu machen,
jeden tug a gentzen kachen...!''
Who knows?
I don't speak Yiddish.
Strangely enough,
neither did he.
But in my heart
I knew what he was saying.
He was saying,
when you're down and out,
and everybody thinks
you're finished
That's the time to stand up
on your two feet and shout,
''Who do you have to fuck
to get a break in this town?!''
Yay!
I used to be the king
The king of old Broadway
Again I will be king
And be on top to stay
There'll be gala
opening nights again
You'll see my name
in lights again
I'll go from dark
to brights again
My spirits high
as kites again
I'll never suffer slights again
I'll taste those
sweet delights again
No plethora of plights again
No blossoming of blights again
No frantic fits
or frights again
Fame is in my sights again
I'll take those
fancy flights again
I'm gonna scale
the heights again
Bialystock will never drop
Bialystock will never stop
Bialystock will be on top again...
I'll be on top again, hey!