Same old tinsel,
same old tree
I'm looking at you
You're staring at me
Turkey, Queen and
silly party games
Nana's drunk
We've had a few
You're staring at me
I'm still looking at you
Every year it's just
the bl**dy same
Grab a girl for
the mistletoe
Sing along with
the old banjo
Punch the air
and sing
Christmas my arse
Christmas comes
but once a year
Loads of laughs
and loads of tears
Close the door and
kiss the year goodbye
Come on in
Sing loud and clear
Have one mince pie,
twelve pints of beer
Raise your glass
Sing Christmas
my arse
The telly's crap
There ain't no snow
The pubs are shut
no place to go
Del and Rodney
on the box again
The crackers don't bang,
washing up's not done
Cliff bl**dy Richard's
at number one
The mother-in-law is
driving me insane
The carol singers
knocking every day
They get real mad
'cos I never pay
Punch the air and sing
Christmas my arse
Christmas comes
but once a year
Loads of laughs and
loads of tears
Close the door and
kiss the year goodbye
Come on in
Sing loud and clear
Have one mince pie
Twelve pints of beer
Raise your glass sing
Christmas my arse
It's your last chance,
so let it all out
Time for you to
scream and shout
Punch the air and sing
Christmas my arse
Christmas comes
but once a year
Loads of laughs and
loads of tears
Close the door and
kiss the year goodbye
Come on boys!
Come on in
Sing loud and clear
Have one mince pie
Twelve pints of beer
Raise your glass sing
Christmas my arse
My arse
My arse
My arse
My arse
Ha ha ha...
My arse
Christmas my arse