I should've known
the first red flag
Was when you said
you didn't like The Beatles
And then
the thirty second one's
How the things you loved
were all a little bit illegal
Can't believe
when you left I was sad
My friends all say
I dodged a bullet
But it's worse than that
I dodged a year
of bad sex
You're wishing
I was your ex
And waiting up for you
to never call me
Dodged an emotional wreck
Downplaying all my success
Not even man enough
to ever say sorry
My friends say
I dodged a bullet
But they don't
even know it
No I dodged
a whole damn army
Life's been so much better now
since you moved out
So sweet no sour
I ripped up all your shirts
And took your three-in-one
and got it out of my shower
Can't believe
when you left I was sad
My friends all say
I dodged a bullet
But it's worse than that
I dodged a year
of bad sex
You're wishing
I was your ex
And waiting up for you
to never call me
Dodged an emotional wreck
Downplaying all my success
Not even man enough
to ever say sorry
My friends say
I dodged a bullet
But they don't
even know it
No I dodged
a whole damn army
I pledge allegiance
to me myself and I
Hope I don't see you
in another life
I pledge allegiance
to me myself and I
No I don't need you
I'd rather die
I dodged a year
of bad sex
You're wishing
I was your ex
And waiting up for you
to never call me
Dodged an emotional wreck
Downplaying all my success
Not even man enough
to ever say sorry
My friends say
I dodged a bullet
But they don't
even know it
No I dodged
a whole damn army
I should've known
from your mullet
Wasn't dodging a bullet
No I dodged
a whole damn army