I was hangin' around
I had nothing to do
When I happened upon
this telephone booth
With a whole bunch of writing
covering one entire wall
It said if you ain't afraid
to spend a dime
and if you wanna have
a real good time
Just give Lucille a call
Now underneath her number
was a big long list
said she'd do that
Said she'd do this
I let my fingers
do the walking
through all kinds
of things I'd missed
I shuffled through my pockets
'till I found myself a dime
I heard a ring or two
and I got her on the line
And I said Lucille
I'd like to have
a real good time
Might've found a lover
might've made a new friend
Well I ain't had
a real good time
since I don't know when
She said who are you
and what is this
I said it's Jim Lucille
and it's about this list
Which I began to read
with particular emphasis
on my favorite numbers
She said where are you
and I gave her the street
She said you sound
like the kind of guy
I'd love to meet
She said stay right
where you are
and I promise you
a real good time
I might've found a lover
might've made a new friend
Well I ain't had
a real good time
since I don't know when
About fifteen minutes
after my arrest
In the middle of the questions
I tried to protest
That I wasn't that phantom
phone caller master of crime
Before they took me away
they allowed me one call
And I recalled that number
on the phone booth wall
I said Lucille me and you got
a altogether different idea
about a real good time
I lost my lover
I lost my new friend
Well you can't have
a real good time
Doing one to ten
Hello Lucille Lucille
I want to tell you something
I don't know what in the world
you thought it was
That would be fun for me down
here at the police station
You know getting arrested
is not my idea
of a real good time
Thank you very much
I'll tell you another thing
In the future don't call me
I'll call you
Wait a minute
what am I saying
Oh man