FOLKS
I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG
ABOUT THE
AMERICAN DREAM
ABOUT ME
ABOUT YOU
ABOUT THE WAY
OUR AMERICAN HEARTS
BEAT WAY DOWN
IN THE BOTTOM
OF OUR CHESTS
ABOUT THAT
SPECIAL FEELING WE GET
IN THE COCKLES
OF OUR HEARTS
MAYBE BELOW
THE COCKLES
MAYBE IN
THE SUBCOCKLE AREA
MAYBE IN THE LIVER
MAYBE IN THE KIDNEYS
MAYBE EVEN
IN THE COLON
WE DON'T KNOW
I'M JUST A REGULAR JOE
WITH A REGULAR JOB
I'M YOUR
AVERAGE WHITE
SUBURBANITE SLOB
I LIKE FOOTBALL
AND PORNO AND
BOOKS ABOUT WAR
I GOT AN AVERAGE HOUSE
WITH A NICE
HARDWOOD FLOOR
MY WIFE AND MY JOB
MY KIDS AND MY CAR
MY FEET ON MY TABLE
AND A CUBAN CIGAR
BUT SOMETIMES
THAT JUST
AIN'T ENOUGH
TO KEEP A MAN LIKE ME
INTERESTED
NO WAY
NO I'VE GOTTA GO OUT
AND HAVE FUN
AT SOMEONE ELSE'S
EXPENSE
YEAH YEAH
YEAH YEAH YEAH
I DRIVE REALLY SLOW
IN THE ULTRA-FAST LANE
WHILE PEOPLE
BEHIND ME
ARE GOIN' INSANE
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
EE OH EE OH
EE OH EE OH
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
BUDDY OH
BUDDY OH
I USE PUBLIC TOILETS
AND I PISS ON THE SEAT
I WALK AROUND
IN THE SUMMERTIME
SAYIN'
HOW ABOUT THIS HEAT
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
EE OH EE OH
EE OH
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
BUDDY OH
BUDDY OH
SOMETIMES I PARK IN THE
HANDICAPPED SPACES
WHILE HANDICAPPED
PEOPLE MAKE
HANDICAPPED FACES
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
EE OH EE OH
EE OH
I'M AN A##HOLE
BLBLBLBLBLBLBL
OH YO EE OH
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE
SINGIN' THIS SONG
RANTING AND RAVING
AND CARRYING ON
MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT
WHEN THEY TELL ME
I'M WRONG
NAH
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
EE OH EE OH
EE OH
I'M AN A##HOLE
BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO
I'M GONNA GET MYSELF
A 1967 CADILLAC
ELDORADO CONVERTIBLE
HOT PINK
WITH WHALESKIN
HUBCAPS
AND ALL LEATHER
COW INTERIOR
AND BIG BROWN
BABY SEAL EYES
FOR HEADLIGHTS YEAH
AND I'M GONNA
DRIVE AROUND
IN THAT BABY
AT A HUNDRED AND
FIFTEEN MILES PER HOUR
GETTIN' ONE MILE
PER GALLON
SUCKIN' DOWN
QUARTER-POUNDER
CHEESEBURGERS
FROM McDONALD'S
IN THE OLD-FASHIONED
NON-BIODEGRADABLE
STYROFOAM CONTAINERS
AND WHEN I'M DONE
SUCKIN' DOWN THOSE
GREASEBALL BURGERS
I'M GONNA
WIPE MY MOUTH
WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG
AND THEN
I'M GONNA TOSS
THE STYROFOAM
CONTAINERS
RIGHT OUT THE SIDE
AND THERE AIN'T
A G##DAMN THING
ANYBODY CAN
DO ABOUT IT
YOU KNOW WHY
BECAUSE
WE GOT THE BOMBS
THAT'S WHY
TWO WORDS
NUCLEAR F####N'
WEAPONS OK
RUSSIA
GERMANY
ROMANIA
THEY CAN HAVE
ALL THE DEMOCRACY
THEY WANT
THEY CAN HAVE
A BIG DEMOCRACY
CAKEWALK
RIGHT THROUGH
THE MIDDLE OF
TIANANMEN SQUARE
AND IT WON'T MAKE
A LICK OF DIFFERENCE
BECAUSE
WE GOT THE BOMBS OK
JOHN WAYNE'S NOT DEAD
HE'S FROZEN
AND AS SOON AS WE FIND
A CURE FOR CANCER
WE'RE GONNA THAW OUT
THE DUKE
AND HE'S GONNA BE
PRETTY PISSED-OFF
YOU KNOW WHY
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN
A COLD SHOWER
WELL MULTIPLY THAT BY
FIFTEEN MILLION TIMES
THAT'S HOW PISSED-OFF
THE DUKE'S GONNA BE
I'M GONNA GET THE DUKE
AND JOHN CASSAVETES
AND LEE MARVIN
AND SAM PECKINPAH
AND A CASE OF WHISKEY
AND DRIVE DOWN
TO TEXAS
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SHUT UP
AND SING THE SONG PAL
I'M AN A##HOLE EE OH
EE OH EE OH
EE OH EE OH
I'M AN A##HOLE
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
EVERYBODY
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
ARF ARF ARF
ARF ARF ARF ARF
FOONG A CHINKA TUM
CHEE FOONG
A YEAH YEAH
OOH OOH
I'M AN A##HOLE
AND I'M PROUD OF IT