Wish I was a stone
so I couldn't feel
you'd yell in my face
it'd be no big deal
But I'd miss the way
we'd make up and smile
don't wanna be stone
I changed my mind
I wish I had eyes
in the back of my head
then I could see
the places I've been
But then I would know
that you're talking s**t
I don't wanna know
what my friends think
Wish I were my dog
out on the lawn
I'd be so glad
when I hear you
come home
But if I were my dog
I wouldn't live long
I'm sure gonna miss her
when she's gone
I wish I could act
in a show on TV
'cause then I could
practice not being me
I'll practice my cry
put it into my reel
but you won't believe me
when I cry for real
I wish that my brain
would triple in size
I'd nail every joke
I'd win every fight
But I'd get too deep
with that kinda mind
I don't wanna know
the point of life
In some other life
I would be rich
I'd travel in style
I'd cover the bill
But couldn't complain
'bout anything small
nobody'd feel
bad for me at all
If I was cocaine
or a bottle of Jack
I'd get invited
to every frat
But when you get old
and your good days
are past
you'll only want me
when you're sad
Wish I was a song
your favourite one
you'd follow the dance
to me at your prom
I would be there
when your baby is born
for two or three minutes
then I'm gone
I wish I was big
as big as my house
I'd sleep on the trees
I'd skip every crowd
But I wouldn't fit
on my therapist's couch
God I could
really use him now
I wish I was God
I'd never trip up
and if I did
well so f**kin' what?
I could be cruel
and break all your stuff
yeah I'd be loved
no matter what
But if I was God
it'd get kinda weird
'cause you would
only say
what I wanna hear
And then you would die
you'd love me to death
I'd never know
who the hell I am
I wish I was me
whoever that is
I could just be
and not give a s**t
Hey I'll be whatever
makes you a fan
'cause I don't know
who the hell I am
Am, am, am, am
Am, am, am, am
Am, am, am, am
One, two
pandemonium
One, two
pandemonium
Here I go again
one, two
pandemonium
Here I go again
one, two
pandemonium
One, two
here I go again