I WAS LOOKIN' FOR
A CHEAP CAR
IN THE SUNDAY
CLASSIFIEDS
WHEN AN AD
JUMPED OUT
AND HIT ME
RIGHT BETWEEN
MY BUGGED OUT EYES
IT WAS A TWO YEAR OLD
MERCEDES
FOR SEVEN HUNDRED
BUCKS
I COULDN'T MAKE
MY TREMBLIN' FINGERS
DIAL THAT NUMBER
FAST ENOUGH
THE WOMAN
WHO PICKED UP
THE PHONE
SAID
YES IT'S STILL FOR SALE
BUT I'VE
HAD ABOUT
A THOUSAND CALLS
SO YOU
BETTER MOVE YOUR TAIL
WHEN I DROVE UP
THAT LONG DRIVEWAY
WITH THE CASH THERE
IN MY HANDS
SHE MET ME
AT THE GARAGE
IN A SHORT SKIRT
AND A TAN
WHEN WE TOOK IT
FOR A TEST DRIVE
I COULDN'T BELIEVE
MY LUCK
SHE SAID
I'LL THROW IN
THEM ARNOLD PALMER
GOLF CLUBS
THERE IN THE TRUNK
NONE OF THIS WAS
MAKIN' SENSE
BUT THEN IT
DAWNED ON ME
WHEN SHE REFERRED
TO HER OLD MAN
AS THAT CHEATIN' S.O.B.
IT WAS A
CLASSIC CASE
OF A
WOMAN SCORNED
SHE'LL MAKE THAT MAN
WISH HE HAD
NEVER BEEN BORN
SHE'S A
FORTY SOMETHIN'
YEAR OLD
JUDGE AND JURY
HELL HATH NO FURY
LIKE REVENGE OF A
MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN
SO SHE TOOK ME OUT
TO BREAKFAST
PUT IT ON
HIS CREDIT CARD
AND BY THE TIME
THEY POURED
THE COFFEE
SHE WAS
POURIN' OUT HER HEART
STORIES
OF HIS SNEAKIN' 'ROUND
AND SORDID ESCAPADES
SECRETARIES
WAITRESSES
AND BIMBOS
HALF HIS AGE
SHE SAID YOU KNOW
THERE'S ONE THING
I OUGHTA THANK HIM FOR
WELL HE TICKED ME OFF
SO MUCH
I PUT NEW LOCKS
ON THE DOOR
IT'S A
CLASSIC CASE
OF A
WOMAN SCORNED
SHE'LL MAKE THAT MAN
WISH HE HAD
NEVER BEEN BORN
SHE'S A
FORTY SOMETHIN'
YEAR OLD
JUDGE AND JURY
HELL HATH NO FURY
LIKE REVENGE OF A
MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN
8 BAR
INSTRUMENTAL
BREAK
WELL I BELIEVE
GOOD WINE AND WOMEN
GET BETTER WITH TIME
AND IF YOU ASK ME
THAT MAN'S A FOOL
OR ELSE
HE MUST BE BLIND
I'LL NEVER KNOW
HIS MOTIVES
CAN'T GET INSIDE
HIS HEAD
BUT I'M DRIVIN'
THAT MERCEDES
AND I'M SLEEPIN'
IN HIS BED
IT'S A
CLASSIC CASE
OF A
WOMAN SCORNED
SHE'LL MAKE THAT MAN
WISH HE HAD
NEVER BEEN BORN
SHE'S A
FORTY SOMETHIN'
YEAR OLD
JUDGE AND JURY
HELL HATH NO FURY
LIKE REVENGE OF A
MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN
REVENGE
OF A MIDDLE-AGED
WOMAN
I KNOW I OUGHTA FEEL
GUILTY
ABOUT SOMETHIN'
I JUST CAN'T THINK
OF WHAT IT MIGHT BE