It's Sunday night
and you're at home
all alone
Last night was great
It was our very first date
so now it's time
to pull out my phone
Gonna send you somethin'
real quick
It ain't gonna be a dick pick
no no
Romance needs clarity
but baby
that don't work for me
I'm sendin'
mixed messages
Mixed messages
I send the first text
in a cute way
and then I don't reply
for seven fuckin' days yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Oh you text me
what night am I free
and I reply yes
Full stop
I send you
a little smiley face
So you send me back
a little smiley face
And then I say hey
and so you write back hey
And I say
Hey what
And you say
You said hey first
And I say
Okay
Croissant emoji
fuck you
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
One second I say
you're very pretty
and then I show up at your house
and I kick your dog yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I pay for the dog's
veterinary bills
but then I punch your dad
in the dick
Ha ha ha ha ha
Now we're going to a hospital
Just me you
and your dad
in the back of an ambulance
And even with your dad's
broken dick
the air is thick with
sexual tension
I'm really sorry
for punchin' your dad
in the dick
I won't do it again
You make me shake his hands
and promise
but as I do I ball up
my other fist and I
punch your dad
in the dick again
I punch your dad
in his broken dick again
You think I'm sexy
I'm being mysterious
Sending you these
weird mixed messages
You say
Stop punchin' my dad's dick
I say
Okay but then I wink
So you grab
both of my hands quick
Stopping my third attempt
to punch your dad's dick
Oh baby
you've played this game before
Too bad
I've played a little bit more
You got both my hands
so I use my head
I headbutt your dad's pants
in the back of an ambulance
And between the headbutts
our eyes lock
as we're holding hands
and we can't help but kiss
over your dad's not once
twice thrice
broken dick
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I say I love you
in a cute way
and then I punch your dad's dick
every day
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Tell your dad
that I'm sorry
but then punch him
in his dick again