Once that you've
decided on a killing
First you make a stone
of your heart
And if you find that
your hands are still willin'
then you can turn
a murder into art
There really isn't any need
for blood-shed
you just do it with
a little more finesse
If you can slip a tablet
into someone coffee
then it avoids
an awful lot of mess
Because it's murder by
numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Murder by numbers
one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Now if you have a taste
for this experience
and you're flushed with
your very first success
Then you must try
a two-some or a three-some
And you'll find that your
conscience bothers you
much less
Because murder is
like anything you take to
It's a habit-forming
need for more and more
You can bump off every
member of your family
and anybody else
you find a bore
Because it's murder
by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
It's murder by numbers
one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Now you can join
the ranks of the illustrious
in histories great dark hall
of fame
All our greatest killers
were industrious
at least the ones that
we all know by name
But you can reach
the top of your profession
if you become the leader
of the land
For murder is the
sport of the elected
and you don't need
to lift a finger of your hand
Because it's murder
by numbers one two three
it's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Murder by numbers
one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Murder by numbers
one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C's
Murder by numbers
one two three
It's as easy to learn
as your A B C D E's