Now here's a little story
to tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
who moves away the dust
Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
My old man
don't earn that much
In fact he's flippin' skint
Oh My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers
and he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper nana
in his great big hob nail boots
He's got such a job
to pull 'em up
and he calls 'em daisy roots
Some folks give tips
at Christmas
and some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up
he spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty
and to the council wrote
Next time my old man
went round there he
punched him up the throat
Oh My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers
and he lives in a council flat
I say I say Les, Yeah?
I 'er, I found a police dog
in my dustbin
Well how do you know
it was a police dog?
He had a policeman with him
Tho' my old man's a dustman
he's got a heart of gold
He got married recently
though he's eighty six years old
We said 'ere, hang on dad
you're gettin' past your prime
He said well when
you get to my age
it helps to pass the time
My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers
and he lives in a council flat
I say, I say, I say
My dustbin's full of Lily's
Well throw 'em away then
I can't, Lily's wearing 'em
Now one day
whilst in a hurry
he missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards
when she chased after him
What game do you
think you're playing
she cried right from the heart
You missed me am I too late?
No, jump up on the cart
My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers
and he lives in a council flat
I say, I say, I say
Not you again
My dustbin's absolutely
full with toad stools
How d'ya know it's full?
Because there's not
mushroom inside
He found a
Tiger's head one day
nailed to a piece of wood
The Tiger
looked quite miserable
but I suppose he should
Just then from out a window
a voice began to wail
Said, 'oi! where's
me Tiger's head?'
Four foot from his tail
Oh My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
He wears gawd blimey trousers
and he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman
looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
it might be my old dad...