I KNOW SEYMOUR'S
THE GREATEST
BUT I'M DATING
A SEMI-SADIST
SO I GOT A BLACK EYE
AND MY ARM'S IN A CAST
STILL THAT
SEYMOUR'S A CUTIE
WELL IF NOT
HE'S GOT INNER BEAUTY
AND I DREAM OF A PLACE
WHERE WE COULD
BE TOGETHER AT LAST
OH NO IT'S JUST
A DAYDREAM OF MINE
A LITTLE DEVELOPMENT
I DREAM OF
JUST OFF
THE INTERSTATE
NOT FANCY
LIKE LEVITT TOWN
JUST A LITTLE STREET
IN A LITTLE SUBURB
FAR FAR
FROM URBAN SKID ROW
OH I DREAM ABOUT IT
ALL THE TIME
JUST ME
AND THE TOASTER
AND A SWEET LITTLE GUY
LIKE SEYMOUR
A MATCHBOX
OF OUR OWN
A FENCE
OF REAL CHAIN-LINK
A GRILL OUT
ON THE PATIO
DISPOSAL IN THE SINK
A WASHER
AND A DRYER
AND AN
IRONING MACHINE
IN A TRACT HOUSE
THAT WE SHARE
SOMEWHERE
THAT'S GREEN
HE RAKES AND
TRIMS THE GRASS
HE LOVES
TO MOW AND WEED
I COOK LIKE
BETTY CROCKER
AND I LOOK LIKE
DONNA REED
THERE'S PLASTIC
ON THE FURNITURE
TO KEEP IT
NEAT AND CLEAN
IN THE PINE-SOL
SCENTED AIR
SOMEWHERE
THAT'S GREEN
BETWEEN OUR
FROZEN DINNER
AND OUR BEDTIME
NINE-FIFTEEN
WE SNUGGLE
WATCHIN' LUCY
ON OUR BIG ENORMOUS
TWELVE-INCH SCREEN
I'M HIS DECEMBER BRIDE
HE'S FATHER
HE KNOWS BEST
OUR KIDS WATCH
HOWDY DOODY
AS THE SUN SETS IN
THE WEST
A PICTURE OUT
OF BETTER HOMES
AND GARDENS MAGAZINE
FAR FROM SKID ROW
I DREAM WE'LL GO
SOMEWHERE
THAT'S
GREEN