GONNA TELL YOU
A STORY
THAT YOU
WON'T BELIEVE
BUT I FELL IN LOVE
LAST FRIDAY EVENIN'
WITH A GIRL I SAW
ON A BARROOM
TV SCREEN
WELL I WAS JUST
GETTIN' READY TO
GET MY HAT
WHEN SHE
CAUGHT MY EYE
AND I PUT IT BACK
AND I ORDERED
MYSELF
COUPLE-A MORE
SHOTS AND BEERS
THE NIGHT
THAT I FELL IN LOVE
WITH A
ROLLER DERBY QUEEN
AROUND AND 'ROUND
AROUND AND 'ROUND
THE MEANEST
HUNK-A WOMAN
THAT ANYBODY
EVER SEEN
DOWN IN THE ARENA
SHE WAS FIVE-FOOT-SIX
BY TWO-FIFTEEN
A BLEACHED-BLONDE
BOMBER WITH A
STREAK OF MEAN
SHE KNEW
HOW TO KNUCKLE
AND SHE KNEW
HOW TO SCUFFLE
AND FIGHT
AND THE ROLLER DERBY
PROGRAM SAID
THAT SHE WAS BUILT
LIKE A 'FRIGERATOR
WITH A HEAD
HER FANS
CALLED HER TUFFY
BUT ALL HER BUDDIES
CALLED HER SPIKE
YOU KNOW THAT
I FELL IN LOVE
WITH A
ROLLER DERBY QUEEN
AROUND AND 'ROUND
AROUND AND 'ROUND
THE MEANEST
HUNK-A WOMAN
THAT ANYBODY
EVER SEEN
DOWN IN THE ARENA
UH HUH
WELL I COULD NOT
HELP IT
BUT TO FALL IN LOVE
WITH THIS
HEAVY-DUTY WOMAN
I BEEN
SPEAKIN' OF
THINGS WERE
KINDA BAD UNTIL
THE DAY SHE SKATED
INTO MY LIFE
WELL SHE MIGHT
BE NASTY
SHE MIGHT BE FAT
BUT I NEVER MET
A PERSON WHO WOULD
TELL HER THAT
SHE'S MY
BLEACHED-BLONDE
BOMBER
MY HEAVY-HANDED
HACKENSACK MAMA
YOU KNOW THAT
I FELL IN LOVE
WITH A
ROLLER DERBY QUEEN
AROUND AND 'ROUND
AROUND AND 'ROUND
THE MEANEST
HUNK-A WOMAN
THAT ANYBODY
EVER SEEN
DOWN IN THE ARENA
UH HUH