Wonder oh why
this ever had to be?
Uh-huh
So many losing hope
in those dreams
that they
Walkin' past
the homeless in a Rolex
just got off the stage
on the TODAY Show
and I basically
felt soulless
Years go by and I keep
saying I'm gon' use
my phone less
but I should
just be phone-less
Ignorance is bliss and
so is bein' underground
'cause it was fun when
we were known less
sorry that's cliche
I know I'm so blessed
But Jason keeps on
tellin' me "Say yes"
And truth be told
I know he knows best
but I don't wanna
do no press
I've seen enough
of me on this lil' screen
I've become so vain and
insecure 'bout everything
I feel all this pressure
to live up to what
they tell me I'm gon' be
so I isolate myself
you can't help me
it's on me
I'm hidin' any sign of
weakness from my guys
I don't want 'em
second-guessin' with me
Nemo said to keep
my foot on necks 'cause
I can't let 'em just forget
me but the brags in my
raps are getting less
and less convincing
So I'd rather just
Oh why this
ever had to be?
So many losing hope
in those dreams
that they
I wrote that first verse
in Denver back in September
it's January now and
I'm feelin'
like myself again
I got Angel back in here
I need his help again
I'm takin' time away
but wonderin' what
a healthy helping is
F**k it, they gon'
check for me
I tell myself
and tell my friends
Avoidin' any talks
about the elephant
chalkin' up the hate
to jealousy and just
embellishments
But deep down
I find myself wonderin'
if the people
that write about me
are right about me
And I wonder if my exes
are oversharin' 'cause
they know a lot about me
I'm a long way
from Shelby County
I been through
some local tension
heard talks
of a healthy bounty
Sober and focused
I cannot walk down
no deli alleys I still got
the fellas 'round me
I love 'em
and tell 'em proudly
My mama needs help
adjusting my father needs
help accounting I'm
lookin' out heaven's
window
I know that there's hell
around me and
Wonder oh why this
ever had to be?
So many losing hope
in those dreams
that they