When you score
with a chick in
a disco bar
Take her home in
your hairy little car
Then you find you
went to school
with her ma and pa
You're the oldest
swinger in town
When you won't
look in the mirror
in the light of day
Swear you've dyed it
when your hair
turns grey
When you zip up
your Wranglers and
your belly's in the way
you're the oldest
swinger in town
Here you come
and there you go
Wide wheels spots
and a stereo
But the engine's
clapped and the
driver also
He's the oldest
swinger in town
When your barber
takes a little less
time each week
The kids don't
understand a
word you speak
When you walk into
a disco and they
offer you a seat
You're the oldest
swinger in town
You prefer a
pint of mild to
Bacardi and coke
The sounds are too loud
and there's
too much smoke
You'd like another
dance but you're
scared you'll have a stroke
You're the oldest
swinger in town
Here you come with
your chest all bare
A little gold inget and
a lot of gold hair
Like the disco king
meets Yogi bear
You're the oldest
swinger in town
When your feelin'
as stiff as a
skinhead's boot
Rub on Vick where
you used to
splash brute
And the latest punk
fashion is your
weddin' suit
You're the oldest
swinger in town
When you have
to go shopping for
your sex appeal
Travolta shades and
nine inch heels
They say a man is
just as old as the
woman he feels
You're the oldest
swinger in town
Here you come with
your lips closed tight
You never smile
You know it wouldn't
look right
'Cos your dentures
glow in ultraviolet light
You're the oldest
swinger in town
Oldest swinger
in town
And you look so mean
'cos your pants
are too tight
You're the oldest
swinger in town
And it takes
you all night
to do what you
used to do all night
You're the oldest
swinger in town