A lot of people ask me
Stupid ******' questions
A lot of people think that
What I say on record
Or what I talk about on the record
That I actually do in real life
Or that I believe in it
Or if I say that
I wanna kill somebody that
I'm actually gonna do it
Or that I believe in it
Well **** if you believe that
Then I'll kill you
You know why
'Cause I'm a CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god**** right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah I'm a CRIMINAL
My words are like a dagger
With a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
Whether you're a *** or ***
Or the homosex hermaph
Or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress hate ****
The answer's yes
Homophobic
Nah you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans
Watchin my ******** bulgin'
That's my mother******' *****
You'd better let go of 'em
They belong in my *******
You'll never get hold of 'em
Hey it's me Versace
Whoops somebody shot me
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it Checkin the 'male'
How many records
You expectin to sell
After your second LP
Sends you directly to jail
C'mon Relax guy
I like gay men
Right Ken Give me an amen
Please Lord
This boy needs Jesus
Heal this child
Help us destroy these demons
Oh and please
Send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's
Sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher
Fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me
My mom can't neither
You can't teach me
A god**** thing 'cause
I watch TV and Comcast cable
And you ain't able
To stop these thoughts
You can't stop me
From toppin'' these charts
And you can't stop me
From droppin'' each March
With a brand new CD
For these ******' retards
Duhhh and to think
It's just little ol' me
Mr. Don't Give A ****
Still won't leave
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin
I don't take **** from no one
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin'
I don't take **** from no one
My mother did drugs
Tar liquor cigarettes and speed
The baby came out
Disfigured ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up
Just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby
'Cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL
An animal caged
Who turned crazed
But how the ****
You 'sposed to grow up
When you weren't raised
So as I got older
And I got a lot taller
My **** shrunk smaller
But my ***** got larger
I drink malt liquor
To **** you up quicker
Than you'd wanna **** me up
For sayin' the word
My morals went thhbbpp
When the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office
On top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me
You won't avoid me
You can't miss me
I'm white blonde-haired
And my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun
Of people that die
In plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't
Happened to him
Slim Shady I'm as crazy
As Eminem and Kim combined
kch the maniac's in
Replacin' the doctor 'cause Dre
Couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather
So I'm takin' his place
Oh that's Dre
With an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too
And spray his brains
All over the place
I told you Dre
You should've kept
That thang put away
I guess that'll teach you
Not to let me play with it eh
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Aight look
Just go up in that mother******
Get the mother******' money
And get the **** up outta there
Em 'Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
Em 'Aight
Yo Em
Em What
Don't kill nobody this time
Em 'Awwright
whistling how you doin'
Hi how can I help you
Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
Okay
Put the ****** money
In the bag *****
And I won't kill you
What Oh my god
Don't kill me
I'm not gonna kill you *****
Quit lookin around
Don't kill me
Please don't kill me
I said I'm not
Gonna ****** kill you
Hurry the **** up
BOOM Thank you
Windows tinted on my ride
When I drive in it
So when I rob a bank
Run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies
The guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye
Hired to pry into my business
Die ******* Pass this brass pest
'Cause Puffy's lucky
I didn't blast his *** yet
If I ever gave a ****
I'd shave my ****
Tuck my ****
In between my legs and cluck
You mother****** chickens
Ain't brave enough
To say the stuff I say
So this tape is shut
**** half the **** I say
I just make it up
To make you mad
So kiss my white naked ***
And if it's not a rapper
That I make it as
I'ma be a ******' rapist
In a Jason mask
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin
I don't take **** from no one
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin
I don't take **** from no one
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin
I don't take **** from no one
I'm a CRIMINAL
'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin'
I don't take **** from no one
I'm a CRIMINAL