I know a
fat ole policeman;
he's always
on our street
A fat old, jolly
red-faced man,
he really is a treat
He's too fine for
a policeman;
he's never known
to frown
And everybody says
he is the happiest
man in town
*Laughter*
He laughs
upon point duty,
he laughs upon
his beat
He laughs at everybody
when he's walking
in the street
He never can
stop laughing; he says
he'd never tried
But once he did arrest
a man and laughed
until he cried
*Laughter*
His jolly face
had wrinkled,
and then he
shut his eyes
He opened his
great mouth,
it was a
wondrous size
He said "I must
arrest you"
he didn't know
what for
And then he
starting laughing,
until he cracked
his jaw
*Laughter*
So if you chance
to meet him when
walking round the town
Just shake him by
his fat old hand
and give him
half a crown
His eyes will
beam and sparkle,
he'll gurgle with delight
And then you'll
start him laughing
with all his
blessed might
*Laughter*