Hey that hulk of a man
with a beer in his hand
he looked like
a drunk old fool
Well I knew
if I hit him right
I could knock him off
that stool
But everybody said watch out
Hey that's Tiger Man McCool
He's had a whole lotta fights
and he always
came out winner
Yeah he's a winner
But I'd had myself
about five too many
so I walked up
tall and proud
And faced his back
then I faced the fact
that he had never
stooped or bowed
I said Tiger Man
you're a pussycat
and a hush
fell on the crowd
I said let's you and me
go outside and see
who's the winner
Well he gripped the bar
with one big hairy hand
then he braced
against the wall
He slowly looked up
from his beer
and my God
that man was tall
He said
boy I see you're a scrapper
so just before you fall
I'm gonna tell you
just a little about
what it means
to be a winner
He said see these
bright white smilin' teeth
Son you know
they ain't my own
Mine rolled away like Chicklets
down the street in San Antone
But I left that person
a-cursin' and nursin'
seven broken bones
And uh he only broke
three of mine
that made me a winner
Here behind this grin
I got a steel pin
that holds my jaw in place
a trophy of my
most successful
motorcycle race
And each morning
when I wake and touch
this scar across my face
it reminds me
of all I got
from bein' a winner
Yeah this broken back
was the dyin' act
of old handsome Harry Clay
That sticky Cincinnati night
that I stole his wife away
But that woman
she gets uglier
and she gets
meaner every day
But I got her boy and
that makes me a winner
He said you
gotta speak loud
when you challenge me boy
'cause it's hard
for me to hear
with this twisted neck
and these migraine pains
and this
big old cauliflower ear
And if it wasn't
for this glass eye of mine
why I'd shed a happy tear
just to think about
all you gonna get
from bein' a winner
I got arthritic elbows boy
I got dislocated knees
from pickin' fights
with thunderstorms and
chargin' into trees
Well my nose
been broke so often
I might lose it
if I sneeze
And son you say
you still wanna be a winner
And he said
you remind me
a lotta my younger days
with your knuckles
clenchin' white
But boy I'm gonna
sit right here and
sip this beer all night
And if there's somethin'
that you gotta gain to prove
by winnin' some silly fight
Well okay
I quit son
you'll be the winner
So I stumbled
from that bar room
not so tall
and not so proud
And behind me I still hear
the hoots of laughter
of the crowd
But my eyes still see
and my nose still works
and my teeth are still
in my mouth
And you know I guess
that makes me
the winner