Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
Anything that brain
of yours can think
of can be found
We've got
mountains of content
Some better,
some worse
If none of it's of
interest to you,
you'd be the first
Welcome to the internet
Come and take a seat
Would you like to
see the news or any
famous women's feet
There's no need to panic
This isn't a test, haha
Just nod or shake
your head and
we'll do the rest
Welcome to the internet
What would you prefer
Would you like to
fight for civil rights
or tweet a racial slur
Be happy
Be horny
Be bursting with rage
We got a
million different
ways to engage
Welcome to the internet
Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for
straining pasta
Here's a nine-year-old
who died
We got movies, and
doctors, and
fantasy sports
And a bunch of
colored pencil drawings
Of all the different
characters in
Harry Potter
fucking each other
Welcome to the internet
Hold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy
just kindly sent you
photos of his cock
They are grainy
and off-putting
He just sent you more
Don't act surprised,
you know you
like it, you whore
See a man beheaded
Get offended,
see a shrink
Show us pictures
of your children
Tell us every
thought you think
Start a rumor,
buy a broom
Or send a death
threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl
and groom her
Do a Zoom or find
a tumor in your
Here's a healthy
breakfast option
You should
kill your mom
Here's why women
never fuck you
Here's how you
can build a bomb
Which Power
Ranger are you
Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the
immigrants to
vaccinate your kids
Could I interest
you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
Could I interest
you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
You know, it wasn't
always like this
Not very long ago
Just before your time
Right before the
towers fell, circa '99
This was catalogs
Travel blogs
A chat room or two
We set our sights
and spent our nights
Waiting
For you, you,
insatiable you
Mommy let you
use her iPad
You were barely two
And it did all the things
We designed it to do
Now look at you, oh
Look at you, you, you
Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now
Your inside's out
Honey, how you grew
And if we stick together
Who knows
what we'll do
It was always the plan
To put the world
in your hand
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahahaha
Hahahaha
Could I interest
you in everything
All of the time
A bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
Could I interest
you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
And anything
and everything
And anything
and everything
And all of the time