Everywhere I go
Someone's tryin'
to be my girlfriend's
best friend
I'm tryin' to pretend
I'm relaxed
But I'm playin' castanets
with my knees
I try to be cool
and give her space
But a guy's always there
ready to jump right up
and take my place
Everyone in this room
Seems to wanna make
a big fool
out of me
Everybody open your mouth
Everybody just say ahh
Everthing'll be alright
If you play along
Everywhere I go
There's someone
in a trench coat
staring at me
When I'm not at home
I'm sure someone's rummaging
through my trash
Whatever could they
want from me
Is it just a part of a giant
government conspiracy
I gotta go see my doctor
about this itchy
pentagram-shaped rash
Everybody open your mouth
Everybody just say ahhh
Everthing'll be alright
This won't hurt at all
Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough
Everything'll be alright
If you just lay off
Dictate a memo to myself
Tryin' to find
If I'm the only one
in complete
health
Consult contemporaries
if ther're some to see
There really isn't anymore
news in my league league
Every night it rains
Someone thinks
they've gotta find beyond me
I try to take
three deep breaths
As I lock in on my minivan
Everyone says I'm lookin'
great but it's hard to
stand up let her up
and try to concentrate
I wish that
everyone that I knew
Hadn't sold out
to the man
Everybody open your mouth
Everybody just say ahhh
Everything'll be alright
This won't hurt at all
Everybody get in line
Everybody turn and cough
Everything'll be alright
If you just lay
Everything'll be alright
If you just lay
Everything'll be alright
If you just lay off