Right said Fred
both of us together
One each end
and steady as we go
Tried to shift it
couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had
a cup of tea, and...
Right said Fred
give a shout for Charlie
Up comes Charlie
from the floor below
After straining
heaving and complaining
We was getting nowhere
And so we had
a cup of tea, and...
Charlie had a think
and he thought we ought to
Take off all the handles
And the things
what held the candles
But it did no good
Well I never thought it would
All right said Fred
have to take the feet off
To get them feet off
wouldn't take a mo'
Took it's feet off
even took the seat off
Should have got us
somewhere, but no...
So Fred said
let's have another cup of tea
And we said, right oh...
All right said Fred
have to take the door off
Need more space
to shift the so and so
Had bad twinges
taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so we had
a cup of tea, and...
Right said Fred
have to take the wall down
That there wall
is gonna have to go
Took the wall down
even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we
had a cup of tea
And Charlie had a think
and he said look Fred
I've got a sort of feeling
If we remove the ceiling
With a rope or two
we could drop
the blighter through
All right said Fred
climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar
gave a mighty blow
Was he in trouble
half a ton of rubble
Landed on the
top of his dome...
So Charlie and me
had another cup of tea
And then we went home
I said to Charlie
we'll just have to leave it
standing on the landing that's all
You see the trouble with Fred
is he's, he's too hasty
You never get
nowhere if you're too hasty..!