When my roommate
comes into the room
looking for his car keys
I don't say it yet
And when he gets me
off the couch
to check underneath
the couch cushions
I don't say it yet
No
And then
when he says out loud
I wonder
where my car keys are
I still don't say it
But then he asks me
do you know
where my car keys are
I look at him in his face
and I say
Have you checked
your butthole
Ski-dap ba-dap butthole
I have not seen your keys
but since you're askin' me
you better check
up that butthole
Of course I'm not serious
I don't think it's up inside
your big brown business
But a funny thing to say
to someone who's lost their shit
and is stressed out visibly
When I see the best man
start to sweat
I don't say it yet
When I see that
little ring bearer cunt
getting yelled at by his mum
ooh I still don't say it
When I see the groom
asking the vicar
if they can wait just
another fifteen minutes
I do not say it
And when the father
of the bride
starts organizing
an ad-hoc emu bob
of the courtyard area
I want to
but I do not say it
It's the eleventh hour
with three hundred congregants
under God's roof
The vicar approaches the mic
and suddenly
all of the chatter goes mute
He says that they've
misplaced the rings
Could anyone possibly
know where they are
I know it's my time
and all heads turn
as I stand and say Vicar
have you checked
your butthole
Ski-dap ba-dap butthole
I have not seen your ring
but have you checked
your ring
and by ring I mean butthole
Love is patient love is kind
but if you ask me
where you can find
literally anything
you've lost before
I'm gonna suggest that it's
up your butthole
Where's my phone
Is it up your butthole
I lost my loan
Have you checked
up your butthole
I'm losing my patience
Check your anus
Where is your class
Think it's stuck up your ass
I just lost my grandma
Oh my god I'm so sorry
Are you capable of not saying
she's up my asshole
Of course my condolences
I'm not looking
for a silly joke right now
Yeah yeah
What are you looking for
Honestly just like
a shoulder to cry
Have you checked
your butthole
Ski-dap ba-dap butthole
Maybe you'll find
your dead grandma
up there too
I fuckin' got you
Butthole
My family hate me
This might be the reason
that I've got no close friends
Fuckin' worth it baby