Phwoar there's something
funny round 'ere
What is it?
Oh it's you
come 'ere
and sit down
You're gonna 'ave
the truth told about you
and put on record
'Ere, please do not sit
too close to me
I've just 'ad my breakfast
thank you
Who put salt
in the sugar bowl?
Who put fireworks
in the coal?
Who put a real live
toad-in-the-'ole?
My brother!
Who put jam
in mother's shoe?
Who made real
caterpillar stew?
Who locked Grandad
in the loo?
My brother!
My brother said
it wasn't he
who put shampoo
in Grandma's tea
My brother said
that it was me
my brother's rotten
Who squeezed toothpaste
round the hall?
Who put soot
in the baby's ball?
Who drew things
on the garden wall?
My brother!
You wanna see
what he drew
phwoar
what a surprise
Nobody knew what
it was really
but everybody
'ad a jolly good idea
An' 'e wrote slogans
"Down with
young mothers"
that was one
'Cos 'e don't think
my mum knows 'ow
to bring us up right
I don't think so either
You know every night
when we're wide awake
she makes us go to bed
And then in the morning
when we're fast asleep
she makes us get up
Whose pet mouse
made Auntie shriek?
Who ate glue
and couldn't speak?
What clever dick
was sick for a week?
My brother!
Who keeps maggots
in a tin?
Plays the twist
on 'is violin?
Who's been gettin'
at the gin?
My brother!
He looks just like
a chimney sweep
but dirt, they say
is just skin deep
I know he's good
when he's asleep
But you don't know
what he's dreamin'
about do ya?
Who wouldn't mind
if I ride his bike?
Who let's me shoot
his gun if I like?
Who says I'm best
at football, ludo,
snakes & ladders,
'ide & seek
Chasin' each other
up an' down the garden
pinching little girls
up the 'igh street
Well he's gotta say
I'm best 'cos I'm bigger
than 'e is an' if 'e don't
say I'm best at everything
I'll bash 'im ha ha
My lovely
lovely brother
Come on, come on mate
let's get you out of 'ere
before you fall down
the 'ole in the middle
Come on
give us yer 'and
we're gonna walk
'Ere, 'ere, what 'ave you
'ad in yer 'and?
'Ave yer?
Phwoar!!