A MAN'S GOT A HEART, HASN'T HE
JOKIN' APART, HASN'T HE
AND THOUGH I'D BE
THE FIRST ONE TO SAY
THAT I WASN'T A SAINT
I'M FINDIN' IT HARD
TO BE REALLY AS BLACK
AS THEY PAINT
I'M REVIEWIN' THE SITUATION
CAN A FELLOW BE
A VILLAIN ALL HIS LIFE
ALL THE TRIALS
AND TRIBULATIONS
BETTER SETTLE DOWN
AND GET MYSELF A WIFE
AND A WIFE WOULD COOK
AND SEW FOR ME
AND COME FOR ME
AND GO FOR ME
AND GO FOR ME AND NAG AT ME
THE FINGER
SHE WOULD WAG AT ME
THE MONEY
SHE WOULD TAKE FROM ME
A MISERY SHE'D MAKE FROM ME
I THINK I'D BETTER
THINK IT OUT AGAIN
A WIFE YOU CAN KEEP, ANYWAY
I'D RATHER SLEEP ANYWAY
LEFT WITHOUT ANYONE
IN THE WORLD
AND I'M STARTIN' FROM NOW
SO, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS
AND TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE
SO, HOW
I'M REVIEWIN' THE SITUATION
I MUST QUICKLY LOOK UP
EVERYONE I KNOW
TITLED PEOPLE WITH A STATION
WHO CAN HELP ME MAKE
A REAL IMPRESSIVE SHOW
I WILL OWN A SUITE
AT CLARIDGES
AND RUN A FLEET OF CARRIAGES
AND WAVE AT ALL THE DUCHESSES
WITH FRIENDLINESS
AS MUCH AS IS
BEFITTIN' OF MY NEW ESTATE
GOOD MORROW TO YOU
MAGISTRATE
HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH
I THINK I'D BETTER
THINK IT OUT AGAIN
SO, WHERE SHALL I GO
SOMEBODY!
WHO DO I KNOW, NOBODY
ALL MY DEAREST COMPANIONS
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
VILLAINS AND THIEVES
SO, AT MY TIME OF LIFE
I SHOULD START
TURNIN' OVER NEW LEAVES
I'M REVIEWIN' THE SITUATION
IF YOU WANT TO EAT
YOU'VE GOT TO EARN A BOB
IS IT SUCH A HUMILIATION
FOR A ROBBER TO PERFORM
AN HONEST JOB
SO, A JOB I'M GETTIN' POSSIBLY
I WONDER WHO MY BOSS'LL BE
I WONDER IF HE'LL TAKE TO ME
WHAT BONUSES
HE'LL MAKE TO ME
I'LL START AT EIGHT
AND FINISH LATE
AT NORMAL RATE AND ALL
BUT, WAIT
I THINK I'D BETTER THINK IT OUT
I THINK I'D BETTER
THINK IT OUT AGAIN
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I'M SEVENTY
MUST COME A TIME, SEVENTY
WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND IT'S COLD
AND WHO CARES
IF YOU LIVE OR... YOU DIE
YOUR ONE CONSOLATION'S
THE MONEY
YOU MAY HAVE PUT BY
I'M REVIEWIN' THE SITUATION
I'M A BAD 'UN
AND A BAD 'UN I SHALL STAY
YOU'LL BE SEEIN'
NO TRANSFORMATION
BUT IT'S WRONG
TO BE A ROGUE IN EVERY WAY
I DON'T WANT NOBODY
HURT FOR ME
OR MADE TO DO THE DIRT FOR ME
THIS ROTTEN LIFE IS NOT FOR ME
IT'S GETTIN' FAR TOO HOT FOR ME
THERE IS NO INBETWEEN FOR ME
BUT WHO WILL CHANGE
THE SCENE FOR ME
DON'T WANT NO ONE
TO ROB FOR ME
BUT WHO WILL FIND
A JOB FOR ME
I THINK I'D BETTER
THINK IT OUT AGAIN, HEY!