Well ya got trouble
My friend
Right here
I say trouble
Right here in
River City
Why sure
I'm a billiard player
Certainly mighty
Proud to say I'm
Always mighty proud
To say it
I consider the
Hours I spend
With a cue in my
Hand are golden
Help you cultivate
Horse sense
And a cool head
And a keen eye
jever take'n try to
Give an iron clad
Leave to yourself
From a three-rail
Billiard shot
But just as I say
It takes
judgement brains
And maturity
To score in a
Balkline game
I say that any
Boob
Can take n' shove
A ball in a pocket
And I call that
Sloth
The first big step
On the road to the
Depths of degrada
I say first it's
A little ah
Medicinal wine
From a teaspoon
Then beer from
A bottle
And the next thing
You know
Your son is playin'
God fer money
In a pinchback
Suit
And list'nin' to
Some big
Out-a-town
jasper
Hearin' him
Tell about
Horserace gamblin'
Not a wholesome
Trottin' race no
But a race where
They sit down right
On a horse
Like to see some
Stuck up jockey boy
Sittin' on Dan Patch
Make your blood boil
Well I should say
Now friends lemme
Tell you what I
Mean
Ya got one two
Three four five
Six pockets
In a table
Pockets that mark
The diff'rence between
A gentleman and a
Bum
With a capitaI B'
And that rhymes
With P' and that
Stands for Pool
And all week long
Your River City
Youth'll be
Fritterin' away
I say your young
Men'll be fritterin'
Fritterin' away their
Noontime
Suppertime
Choretime too
Get the ball
In the pocket
Never mind
Gettin' dandelions
Pulled of the screen
Door patched
Or the beefsteak
Pounded
Never mind
Pumpin' any water
Til your parents are
Caught
With the cistern
Empty on a
Saturday night
And that's trouble
Oh yes
Ya got lots
N' lots-a-trouble
I'm thinkin' of the
Kids in the
Knickerbockers
Shirt-tails
Young ones
Peekin' in the
Pool hall window
After school
Ya got trouble
Folks right here
In River City
Trouble'
With a capitaI 'T'
And that rhymes
With 'P' and that
Stands for pool
Now I know all
You folks are the
Right kind of
Parents
And I'm gonna
Be perfectly frank
Would ya like to
Know what kinda
Conversation goes
On while they're
Loafin' around the
Hall
They'll be
Trying out bevo
tryin' out Cubebs
Tryin' out
Tailor-mades
Like cigarette
Fiends
And braggin' all
About how they're
Gonna cover up a
Tell-tale breath with
Sen-sen
One fine night they
Leave the pool hall
Headin' for the
Dance at the arm'ry
Libertine men and
Scarlet women and
Ragtime
Shameless music
That'll drag your son
And your daughter
Into the arms of a
jungle animal
Instinct
Massteria
Friends the idle
Brain is the devil's
Playground trouble
Right here in
River City
With a
Capital 'T' and that
Rhymes with 'P'
And that stands
For pool
We've surely
Got trouble
Right here in
River City
Gotta figger
Out a way to keep
The young ones
Moral after school
Trouble trouble
Trouble
Ya got trouble
Right here in
River City
With a capital
T' and that
Rhymes with 'P'
And that stands
For pool
We've surely
Got trouble
Right here in
River City
Remember
The Maine
Plymouth Rock and
The golden rule
Oh we got trouble
We're in
Terrible terrible
Trouble
That game with
The fifteen
Numbered balls
Is the devil's tool
Oh yes
We've got trouble
Trouble trouble
With a 'T'
Gotta rhyme
With 'P'
And that stands for
Pool
That stands for pool