WELL I GUESS IT WAS
BACK IN SIXTY-THREE
WHEN EATIN'
MY COOKIN'
GOT THE BETTER OF ME
SO I ASKED
THIS LITTLE GIRL
I WAS GOIN' WITH
TO BE MY WIFE
WELL SHE
SAID SHE WOULD
SO I SAID I DO
BUT I'D A
SAID I WOULDN'T
IF I'D A JUST KNEW
HOW SAYIN' I DO
WAS GONNA SCREW UP
ALL OF MY LIFE
WELL THE FIRST
FEW YEARS
WEREN'T ALL THAT BAD
I'LL NEVER FORGET
THE GOOD TIMES
WE HAD
CAUSE I'M REMINDED
EVERY MONTH
WHEN I SEND HER
THE CHILD SUPPORT
WELL IT WAN'T
TOO LONG
TILL THE LUST ALL DIED
AND I'LL ADMIT
I WASN'T
TOO SURPRISED
THE DAY I CAME HOME
AND FOUND
MY SUITCASE
SITTIN' OUT
ON THE PORCH
WELL I TRIED TO GET IN
SHE CHANGED
THE LOCK
THEN I FOUND
THIS NOTE
TAPED ON THE MAILBOX
IT SAID
GOODBYE TURKEY
MY ATTORNEY
WILL BE IN TOUCH
SO I DECIDED
RIGHT THEN AND THERE
I WAS GONNA
DO WHAT'S RIGHT
GIVE HER
HER FAIR SHARE
BUT BROTHER
I DIDN'T KNOW
HER SHARE
WAS GONNA BE
THAT MUCH
SHE GOT THE GOLDMINE
I GOT THE SHAFT
THEY SPLIT IT RIGHT
DOWN THE MIDDLE
AND THEN THEY
GIVE HER
THE BETTER HALF
WELL IT ALL
SOUNDS SORTA FUNNY
BUT IT HURTS
TOO MUCH TO LAUGH
SHE GOT THE GOLDMINE
I GOT THE SHAFT
NOW LISTEN
YOU AIN'T HEARD
NOTHIN' YET
WHY THEY GIVE HER
THE COLOR
TELEVISION SET
THEN THEY GIVE HER
THE HOUSE
THE KIDS AND
BOTH OF THE CARS
SEE
WELL THEN
THEY STARTED TALKIN'
'BOUT CHILD SUPPORT
ALIMONY AND THE
COST OF THE COURT
DIDN'T TAKE ME LONG
TO FIND OUT
HOW FAR IN THE TOILET
I WAS
WELL I'M TELLIN' YOU
THEY HAVE
MADE A MISTAKE
CAUSE IT ADDS UP
TO MORE THAN
THIS COWBOY MAKES
BESIDES EVERYTHING
I EVER HAD
WORTH TAKIN'
THEY'VE ALREADY TOOK
WHILE SHE'S LIVIN'
LIKE A QUEEN
ON ALIMONY
I'M WORKIN' TWO SHIFTS
EATIN' BOLOGNE
ASKIN' MYSELF
WHY DIDN'T YA
JUST LEARN
HOW TO COOK
THEY GIVE HER
THE GOLDMINE
THEY GIVE ME
THE SHAFT
SAID THEY'RE
SPLITTIN' IT ALL
DOWN THE MIDDLE
BUT SHE GOT
THE BETTER HALF
WELL IT ALL
SOUNDS MIGHTY FUNNY
BUT IT HURTS
TOO MUCH TO LAUGH
SHE GOT THE GOLDMINE
I GOT THE SHAFT
8 BAR
INSTRUMENTAL
BREAK
WELL SHE GOT
THE GOLDMINE
I GOT THE SHAFT
THEY SPLIT IT ALL
DOWN THE MIDDLE
AND THEN THEY
GIVE HER
THE BETTER HALF
WELL I GUESS THIS ALL
SOUNDS FUNNY
BUT IT HURTS
TOO MUCH TO LAUGH
SHE GOT THE GOLDMINE
AND I GOT THE SHAFT
YOU AIN'T KIDDIN'
I GOT THE SHAFT
BUT I DON'T HAVE
TO WORRY 'BOUT
TOTIN' A BILLFOLD
ANYMORE
I LET MY WIFE TOTE IT
I'M GONNA BE
CARRYING FOOD
STAMPS
YOU GET IT JUDGE
THAT'S NOT FUNNY HUH
CONTEMPT OF COURT
WAIT A MINUTE
MISTER JUDGE
I'M JUST KIDDIN'