AHEM
EXCUSE ME
CAN I HAVE
THE ATTENTION
OF THE CLASS
FOR ONE SECOND
HI KIDS
DO YOU LIKE PRIMUS
WANNA SEE ME STICK
NINE-INCH NAILS
THROUGH EACH ONE
OF MY EYELIDS
WANNA COPY ME
AND DO EXACTLY
LIKE I DID
TRY 'CID AND
GET MESSED UP
WORSE THAN MY LIFE IS
MY BRAIN'S DEAD WEIGHT
I'M TRYIN' TO
GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT
BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
WHICH SPICE GIRL
I WANNA IMPREGNATE
AND DR. DRE SAID
UH UH
WELL SINCE AGE TWELVE
I'VE FELT LIKE
A CAGED ELF
WHO STAYED TO HIMSELF
IN ONE SPACE
CHASIN' HIS TAIL
GOT TICKED OFF
AND RIPPED
PAMELA LEE'S LIPS OFF
KISSED 'EM AND SAID
I AIN'T KNOW SILICONE
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
THIS SOFT
I'M 'BOUT TO PASS OUT
AND CRASH
AND FALL IN THE GRASS
FASTER THAN
THE FAT MAN
WHO SAT DOWN TOO FAST
COME HERE LADY
SHADY WAIT A MINUTE
THAT'S MY GIRL DAWG
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
DRE SENT ME
TO TICK THE WORLD OFF
MY ENGLISH TEACHER
WANTED TO FLUNK ME
IN JUNIOR HIGH
THANKS A LOT
NEXT SEMESTER
I'LL BE THIRTY-FIVE
I SMACKED HIM
IN HIS FACE
WITH AN ERASER
CHASED HIM
WITH A STAPLER
AND TOLD HIM TO
CHANGE THE GRADE
ON THE PAPER
WALKED IN A STRIP CLUB
HAD MY JACKET
ZIPPED UP
SERVED THE BARTENDER
AND WALKED OUT
WITH A TIP CUP
EXTRATERRESTRIAL
RUNNIN' OVER
PEDESTRIANS
IN A SPACESHIP
WHILE THEY'RE
SCREAMIN' AT ME
NINETY-NINE PERCENT
OF MY LIFE
I WAS LIED TO
I JUST FOUND OUT
MY MOM DOES MORE
DOPE THAN I DO
I TOLD HER
I'D GROW UP TO BE
A FAMOUS RAPPER
MAKE A RECORD
ABOUT DOIN' DRUGS
AND NAME IT AFTER HER
YOU KNOW
YOU BLEW UP
WHEN THE WOMEN
RUSH THE STANDS
AND TRY TO TOUCH
YOUR HANDS
LIKE SOME SCREAMIN'
USHER FANS
THIS GUY AT
WHITE CASTLE
ASKED FOR
MY AUTOGRAPH
SO I SIGNED IT DEAR DAVE
THANKS FOR
THE SUPPORT
A##HOLE
STOP THE TAPE
THIS KID NEEDS
TO BE LOCKED AWAY
DR. DRE
DON'T JUST STAND THERE
OPERATE
I'M NOT READY
TO LEAVE
IT'S TOO SCARY TO DIE
I'LL HAVE TO BE
CARRIED INSIDE
THE CEMETERY
AND BURIED ALIVE
AM I COMIN' OR GOIN'
I CAN BARELY DECIDE
I JUST DRANK
A FIFTH OF KOOL-AID
DARE ME TO DRIVE
ALL MY LIFE
I WAS VERY DEPRIVED
I AIN'T HAD A WOMAN
IN YEARS
AND MY PALMS
ARE TOO HAIRY
TO HIDE
CLOTHES RIPPED LIKE
THE INCREDIBLE HULK
I SPIT WHEN I TALK
I F### ANYTHING
THAT WALKS
WHEN I WAS LITTLE
I USED TO GET
SO HUNGRY
I WOULD THROW FITS
HOW YOU GONNA
BREAST-FEED ME MOM
YOU AIN'T GOT NO T###
I LAY AWAKE
AND STRAP MYSELF
IN THE BED WITH A
BULLETPROOF VEST ON
AND TAP MYSELF
IN THE HEAD
'CAUSE I'M STEAMIN' MAD
AND BY THE WAY
WHEN YOU SEE MY DAD
ASK HIM IF HE
BOUGHT A PORNO MAG
AND SEEN MY AD