YOU KNOW
WHEN I THINK ABOUT
CHRISTMAS
ONE OF MY FAVORITE
THOUGHTS IS THE FOOD
TURKEY AND DRESSING
CRANBERRY SAUCE
GREEN BEANS
AND CORN BREAD
MAKES YOUR MOUTH
KINDA WATER
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
DOESN'T IT
BUT THEN I ALWAYS
REMEMBER
THAT ONE RELATIVE
THAT BRINGS THAT FOOD
THAT NOBODY LIKES
FRUITCAKE
I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN
ANYBODY EAT FRUITCAKE
FACT IF I THINK
I HAD TO EAT A PIECE
OF FRUITCAKE I'D VOMIT
AND THAT'S WHAT
THIS NEXT SONG
IS ABOUT
ME AND MY BUDDY
WROTE IT
IT'S CALLED FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
4 BAR
BREAK
EVERY YEAR
AT CHRISTMASTIME
MY FRIENDS
ALL LIKE TO BAKE
THEY MAKE COOKIES
ROLLS AND BREAD
HAM AND PIE
AND FOR SOME
WEIRD REASON
THEY ALL SEND ME
A FRUITCAKE
WHEN I TELL THEM
THAT I ATE IT IT'S A LIE
I'VE USED THEM
AS AN ANCHOR
FOR MY BOAT OUT
ON THE LAKE
I'VE MADE BARBELLS
FOR MY COUSINS
MERLE AND LUKE
BUT IF I TRY
TO EAT SOME
MY INTESTINES
START TO QUAKE
'CAUSE FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
IT HAPPENS
EVERYTIME I EAT IT
SO I KNOW IT'S NOT
A FLUKE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
THAT'S THE ONE THING
ABOUT CHRISTMAS
THAT NO ONE
CAN DISPUTE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
I KEEP ONE IN MY OFFICE
AS A HANDY
PAPERWEIGHT
I HEAR THEY'RE USED
AS HAMMERS
IN DUBUQUE
BUT WHEN I TRY
TO EAT SOME
I CAN'T
GET IT OFF MY PLATE
'CAUSE FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
IT HAPPENS EVERYTIME
I EAT IT
SO I KNOW IT'S NOT
A FLUKE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
THERE'S ONE THING
ABOUT CHRISTMAS
THAT NO ONE
CAN DISPUTE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
8 BAR
INSTRUMENTAL
BREAK
AND THE MAIN THING
ABOUT FRUITCAKE
THAT I HAVE FOUND
IT LOOKS THE SAME WAY
COMIN' UP
AS IT DOES GOIN' DOWN
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
IT HAPPENS
EVERYTIME I EAT IT
SO I KNOW IT'S NOT
A FLUKE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
THAT'S THE ONE THING
ABOUT CHRISTMAS
THAT NO ONE
CAN DISPUTE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
YEAH THAT'S THE ONE
THING
ABOUT CHRISTMAS
THAT MY FAMILY
CAN'T DISPUTE
FRUITCAKE
MAKES ME PUKE
AH THANK-YOU
SO MUCH
FOR THE FRUITCAKE
MERRY CHRISTMAS
THANK-YOU
NAW I LOVE 'EM
AW MAN
WHERE AM I GONNA
HIDE THIS THING
ANOTHER FRUITCAKE AH