There I was digging this hole
Hole in the ground so big
and sort of round it was
And there was I
digging it deep
It was flat at the bottom
and the side's were steep
When along came this bloke
in a bowler, which he lifted
and scratched his head
Wow he looked in the hole
poor demented soul
And he said "Do you mind
if I make a suggestion?"
Don't dig there
dig it elsewhere
You're digging it round
and it ought to be square
The shape of it's wrong
it's much too long
And you can't put a hole
where a hole don't belong
I ask what a liberty eh?
Nearly bashed him
right in the bowler
Well there was I
stood in me hole
Shovelling earth for all
that I was worth I was
And there was him
standing up there
So grand and official
with his nose in the air
So I gave him a look
sort of sideways
And I leaned
on my shovel and sighed
Woo I lit me a fag and
having took a drag I replied
I just couldn't bear
to dig it elsewhere
I'm digging it round
'cos I don't want it square
And if you disagree
it doesn't bother me
That's the place
where the hole's gonna be
Well there we were
discussing this hole
Hole in the ground so big
and sort of round it was
It's not there now
the grounds all flat
And beneath it is the bloke
in the bowler hat
And that's that...!