She climbs a tree
And scrapes
Her knee
Her dress
Has got a tear
She waltzes
On her way
To Mass
And whistles
On the stair
And underneath
Her wimple
She has curlers
In her hair
I even heard her
Singing
In the Abbey
She's always
Late for chapel
But her penitence
Is real
She's always late
For everything
Except for
Ev'ry meal
I hate to
Have to say it
But I very
Firmly feel
Maria's not
An asset to
The Abbey
I'd like to say
A word
In her behalf
Then say it
Sister Margaretta
Maria makes me
Laugh
How do you solve
A problem
Like Maria
How do you
Catch a cloud
And pin it down
How do you find
A word that
Means Maria
A flib-ber-ti
Jib-bet
A will o' the wisp
A clown
Many a thing
You know you'd
Like to tell her
Many a thing
She ought to
Understand
But how do you
Make her stay
And listen to
All you say
How do you
Keep a wave
Upon the sand
Oh how do you
Solve a problem
Like Maria
How do you hold
A moonbeam
In your hand
When I'm with her
I'm confused
Out of focus
And bemused
And I never know
Exactly where I am
Unpredictable
As weather
She's as flighty
As a feather
She's a darling
She's a demon
She's a lamb
She'll out-pester
Any pest
Drive a hornet
From his nest
She could throw a
Whirling dervish
Out of whirl
She is gentle
She is wild
She's a riddle
She's a child
She's a headache
She's an angel
She's a girl
How do you
Solve a problem
Like Maria
How do you
Catch a cloud
And pin it down
How do you
Find a word
That means Maria
A flib-ber-ti jib-bet
A will o' the wisp
A clown
Many a thing you
Know you'd like
To tell her
Many a thing
She ought to
Understand
But how do you
Make her stay
And listen to
All you say
How do you keep
A wave
Upon the sand
Oh how do you
Solve a problem
Like Maria
How do you hold
A moonbeam
In your hand