MOM MADE BEANS
FOR DINNER
YA KNOW I ATE 'EM ALL
SHE SAID COME GET
YOUR COAT ON
WE'RE GOIN' TO THE MALL
YOU'RE GONNA VISIT
SANTA
AND SIT UPON HIS KNEE
BUT ALL THAT I COULD
THINK ABOUT
WAS HOW NOT TO CUT
THE CHEESE
WAITING THERE
FOR SANTA
I THOUGHT THAT I'D
EXPLODE
THAT GAS BUBBLE
GREW BIGGER
WITH EVERY HO HO HO
I TRIED MY BEST
TO HIDE IT
THOUGHT I WAS DOING
SWELL
BUT WHEN I SAT ON
SANTA'S LAP
HE HOLLERED
WHAT'S THAT SMELL
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
NOW CHRISTMAS
IS GONNA STINK FOR ME
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
NOW I'LL GET PFFFFT
UNDER
MY CHRISTMAS TREE
I ASKED HIM
FOR A BASEBALL
I ASKED HIM FOR A BAT
I ASKED HIM FOR SOME
ICE SKATES BUT I'LL GET
NONE OF THAT
I ASKED HIM FOR
A LOT OF THINGS
I'LL HAVE TO DO
WITHOUT
'CAUSE WHEN I SAT
DOWN ON SANTA'S LAP
I LET ONE SLIP OUT
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
NOW CHRISTMAS
IS GONNA STINK FOR ME
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
NOW I'LL GET PFFFFT
UNDER
MY CHRISTMAS TREE
ON CHRISTMAS EVE
I SNUCK OUT OF MY BED
WITHOUT A SOUND
AND WENT DOWN
TO THE LIVING ROOM
JUST TO TAKE A LOOK
AROUND
'TWAS THEN
THAT I SAW SANTA
NEXT TO THE
CHRISTMAS TREE
HIS ARMS WERE FULL
OF PRESENTS
AND THEY WERE ALL
FOR ME
HE PUT THEM IN A PILE
GOT UP AND TURNED
AROUND
THEN BLEW A FART
WITH SUCH GREAT FORCE
OUR TREE ALMOST
CAME DOWN
AND SO I'LL ALWAYS
CHERISH
THAT SPECIAL MOMENT
WHEN
I REALIZED EVEN
OLD ST. NICK
RIPS ONE NOW AND THEN
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
AND CHRISTMAS
DIDN'T STINK FOR ME
I FARTED
ON SANTA'S LAP
AND SANTA LEFT ONE
ON MY CHRISTMAS TREE