Oh as I went home
on Monday night
as drunk as drunk
could be
I saw a horse
outside the door
where my old
horse should be
Well I called me wife
and I said to her
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse
outside the door
where my old horse
should be?
Ah you're drunk,
you're drunk
you silly old fool
still you cannot see
That's a lovely sow
that me mother
sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled
a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow
sure I never saw before
And as I went home
on Tuesday night
as drunk
as drunk could be
I saw a coat
behind the door
where my old coat
should be
Well I called me wife
and I said to her
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat
behind the door
where my old coat
should be?
Ah you're drunk,
you're drunk
you silly old fool
still you cannot see
That's a woollen blanket
that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled
a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket
sure I never saw before
And as I went home
on Wednesday night
as drunk as drunk
could be
I saw a pipe
upon the chair
where my old pipe
should be
Well I called me wife
and I said to her
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe
upon the chair
where my old pipe
should be?
Ah you're drunk,
you're drunk
you silly old fool
still you cannot see
That's a lovely tin whistle
that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled
a hundred miles or more
But tobacco
in a tin whistle
sure I never saw before
And as I went home
on Thursday night
as drunk as drunk
could be
I saw two boots
beneath the bed
where my old boots
should be
Well I called me wife
and I said to her
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots
beneath the bed
where my old boots
should be?
Ah you're drunk,
you're drunk
you silly old fool
still you cannot see
They're two lovely
geranium pots
me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled
a hundred miles or more
But laces
in geranium pots
I never saw before
And as I went home
on Friday night
as drunk as drunk
could be
I saw a head
upon the bed
where my old head
should be
Well I called me wife
and I said to her
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head
upon the bed
where my old head
should be
Ah you're drunk,
you're drunk
you silly old fool
still you cannot see
That's a baby boy
that me mother
sent to me
Well it's many a day
I've travelled
a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy
with his whiskers on
I never saw before