I READ THE NEWS TODAY
OH BOY
ABOUT A LUCKY MAN
WHO MADE THE GRADE
AND THOUGH THE NEWS
WAS RATHER SAD
WELL I JUST
HAD TO LAUGH
I SAW THE PHOTOGRAPH
HE BLEW HIS MIND OUT
IN A CAR
HE DIDN'T NOTICE
THAT THE LIGHTS
HAD CHANGED
A CROWD OF PEOPLE
STOOD AND STARED
THEY'D SEEN HIS FACE
BEFORE
NOBODY WAS
REALLY SURE
IF HE WAS FROM
THE HOUSE OF LORDS
I SAW A FILM TODAY
OH BOY
THE ENGLISH ARMY
HAD JUST WON THE WAR
A CROWD OF PEOPLE
TURNED AWAY
BUT I JUST HAD TO LOOK
HAVING READ THE BOOK
I'D LOVE TO
TURN YOU ON
WOKE UP
FELL OUT OF BED
DRAGGED A COMB
ACROSS MY HEAD
FOUND MY WAY
DOWNSTAIRS
AND DRANK A CUP
AND LOOKING UP
I NOTICED I WAS LATE
HA-AH HA-AH
FOUND MY COAT
AND GRABBED MY HAT
MADE THE BUS
IN SECONDS FLAT
FOUND MY WAY
UPSTAIRS
AND HAD A SMOKE
AND SOMEBODY SPOKE
AND I WENT
INTO A DREAM
AH AH AH AH
AH AH AH AH AH AH
AH AH AH AH
AH AH AH AH
AH AH AH AH AH AH
I READ THE NEWS TODAY
OH BOY
FOUR THOUSAND HOLES
IN BLACKBURN
LANCASHIRE
AND THOUGH THE HOLES
WERE RATHER SMALL
THEY HAD TO
COUNT THEM ALL
NOW THEY KNOW
HOW MANY HOLES
IT TAKES TO FILL THE
ALBERT HALL
I'D LOVE TO
TURN YOU ON