THEY SAY I MIGHT
AS WELL FACE THE TRUTH
THAT I AM JUST TOO
LONG IN THE TOOTH
I'VE STARTED TO
DETERIORATE
AND NOW I'VE PASSED
MY OWN SELL-BY DATE
OH, I AM NO SPRING
CHICKEN IT'S TRUE
I HAVE TO POP
MY TEETH IN TO CHEW
AND MY OLD KNEES
HAVE STARTED TO KNOCK
I'VE JUST GOT TOO MANY
MILES ON THE CLOCK
SO I'M A WRINKLY, CRINKLY
SET IN MY WAYS
IT'S TRUE THAT MY BODY
HAS SEEN BETTER DAYS
BUT GIVE ME HALF A CHANCE
AND I CAN STILL MISBEHAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
Victor Meldrew Spoken...
HELLO!
YES, YES, IT'S MELDREW HERE
YES, VICTOR MELDREW
YES, I'VE BEEN HOLDING
HELLO? HELLO?
LOOK, LOOK, I'VE BEEN
ON HOLD FOR ABOUT
HALF AN HOUR
WHAT FOR?
I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE
NOT LISTEN FIVE HUNDRED
TIMES TO SOMEONE
SINGING HAVE A NICE DAY
WHAT DO I WANT?
I WANT TO COMPLAIN
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT EVERYTHING
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU'RE CLOSED?
OH, AND THE SAME TO YOU!
SO I'M A-LOSIN' MY HAIR
AND MY SPINE'S A BIT KINKED
I MAY BE RARE
BUT I'M NOT YET EXTINCT
I'M AN OLDIE, MOULDY
TOO OLD TO RAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
Victor Meldrew Spoken...
HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK
JUST STOP IT
WILL YOU TURN OFF
THAT RUDDY RACKET!
THEY TELL ME I AM
WELL PAST MY PRIME
THE LANDLORD IN THE
SKY'S CALLING TIME
BUT THERE'S ONE THING
THAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW
THAT I AM NOT YET
READY TO GO
I KNOW I'M OLD
BUT I'M NOT A FREAK
I SHOULD BE CHERISHED
LIKE AN ANTIQUE
BUT EVERY TIME
I HAVE A SLIGHT COUGH
I'M FRIGHTENED THEY'LL
START SWITCHING ME OFF
SO I'M A WRINKLY, CRINKLY
BUT DON'T SHED A TEAR
I'M NOT EXACTLY
A LITTLE OLD DEAR
ONE THING'S FOR SURE
I'M STILL BLOODY WELL HERE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE