Uh-huh
Years before I was born
father told this to me
It was one
Christmas morning
in seventy-three
There was one lonely gift
nestled under the tree
My grandfather said
Don't touch my
He said boy listen close
I am saying this once
These were worn
by my parents
and their parent's parents
Now they're yours
but be sure
to guard them with your life
He said don't ever let them
touch my clogs
You can take my cash
you can burn my house
You could force feed trash
I'd let you kick my balls
while I chewed on glass
Beforе I even thought
about letting someone
touch my clogs
You'll have to take my life
you'll have to steal my dog
Have to beat my wife
You'll have to kill my mom
with a rusty knife
You'll have to break my legs
before I ever let you
touch my clogs
Don't touch my
C L O G S
They're my clogs
Whoa oh
Father said you're my son
so I'll tell you the truth
I wore clogs without socks
for the bulk of my youth
Now these clogs
they are yours
protect them
with your life
I pray you never let them
touch your clogs
You can slap my wrist
I'd let you shave my head
Let you wax my pits
I'd even buttchug bleach
while you twist my nips
And after all of that
I still wouldn't let you
touch my clogs
You can eat my lunch
and you can knock me out
With a one-inch punch
And make me
drink your sweat
from a dirty sponge
You'd have to
shoot me dead
before I ever let you
touch my clogs
Is my purpose in life
to keep them safe
until my child is
at least twenty-five
Then I will pass
the clogs to them and
they'll wear them with pride
And every single day
from then they'll make sure
no one has
touched their clogs
They're the one thing
I love
the only thing
that makes me sure
there's a god up above
Those wooden clogs
on my feet
and they fit like a glove
And I would give up everything
'fore I ever let you touch my
C L O G S
You can take my cash
You could force feed trash
I'd let you kick my balls
while I chewed on glass
Before I even thought
about letting someone
touch my clogs
You'll have to take my life
you'll have to steal my dog
Have to beat my wife
You'll have to kill my mom
with a rusty knife
You'll have to break my legs
before I ever let you touch my
