When it comes to
hitchin' the boat up
Backin' down the ramp
in my old truck
To find a bunch of logs
To catch a bunch of hogs
Yeah I wrote the book
Yeah I wrote the book
If you wanna learn
to throw a curve right
Catch a clean up
Lookin' on a third strike
Talk a little smack
while he's walkin' back
Yeah I wrote the book
But there's one that lays by the
lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't
cuss and don't fight
Or let the bottle turn you
into a different man
But **** if I don't
do it every Friday night
Those get you into
Heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to
keep me on a straight line
I'm a Jack of all trades
But man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
I met a good girl
She had her life straight
She said she loved that
I was good at everything
One day she left me in a
cloud of dust
'Cause I never was
too good at pickin' up
The one that lays by the
lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't
cuss and don't fight
Or let the bottle turn you
into a different man
But **** if I don't
do it every Friday night
Those get you into
Heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to
keep me on a straight line
I'm a Jack of all trades
But man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
Yeah the good Lord
knows I need it
I didn't write it
But I probably oughta read it
The one that lays by the
lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't
cuss and don't fight
Or let the bottle turn you
into a different man
But **** if I don't
do it every Friday night
Those get you into
Heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to
keep me on a straight line
I'm a Jack of all trades
But man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write