My mother said
that I never should
Play with the naughty rude
girls in the wood
Their giggling talk
I could never understand
And that's why I fell in love
with my right hand
And that's why...
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
I was twenty five years old
before I was kissed
And then I found
that I preferred
a swift one off the wrist
It's cheap and convenient
you can't catch VD
It's available at any time
and it's absolutely free
And that's why....
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
Oh Mrs. Palm
and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my dong is growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
and I think I'm going blind
I've winked over Italy
I've winked over Spain
I've winked in an omnibus
I've even had a wink on a train
I've used a badger
and a melon and a cat
An inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a Davy Crockett hat
And that's why....
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
'ere listen
Oh Mrs. Palm
and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my dong is growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
and I think I'm going blind
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And it does me good
like it bloody well should
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
And I'm always pulling my pud
I'm a winker, I'm a winker
I bloody well should
I'm always pulling my pud