When I went to the bar
as a very young man
said I to myself
said I...
I'll work on a new
and original plan
said I to myself
said I...
I'll never assume
that a rogue or a thief
is a gentleman worthy
implicit belief
Because his attorney
has sent me a brief
said I to myself
said I...
'Ere I go into court
I will read my brief
through said I to myself
said I...
And I'll never take work
I'm unable to do
said I to myself
said I...
My learned profession
I'll never disgrace
by taking a fee
with a grin on my face
When I haven't been
there to attend
to the case
said I to myself
said I...
I'll never throw dust
in a jury man's eyes
said I to myself
said I...
Or hoodwink a judge
who is not over-wise
said I to myself
said I...
Or assume that the
witnesses summoned
in force in Exchequer
Queen's Bench, Common
Pleas or Divorce
They're perjuring
themselves as a
matter of course
said I to myself
said I...
In other professions
in which men engage
said I to myself
said I...
The Army, the Navy,
the Church
and the Stage
said I to myself
said I...
Professional licence
if carried too far
your chance of
promotion will
certainly mar
And I fancy the rule
might apply to the bar
said I to myself
said I...