The mystery man
came over
and he said
"I'm outta sight!"
He said for a nominal
service charge
I could reach
Nirvana tonight
If I was ready
willing and able
to pay him
his regular fee
He would drop all
the rest of his
pressing affairs
and devote
his attention to me
But I said
"Look here brother
Who you jiving with
that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving
with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother
don't you waste
your time on me"
The mystery man
got nervous
and he fidget
around a bit
He reached in the pocket
of his mystery robe
and he whipped out
a shaving kit
Now I thought
it was a razor
and a can of
foaming goo
But he told me right then
when the top
popped open
there was nothin'
his box won't do
With the oil
of Aphrodite
and the dust
of the Grand Wazoo
He said "You might not
believe this little fella
but it'll cure your
asthma too"
And I said
"Look here brother
Who you jiving with
that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of
a guru are you
anyway?
Look here brother
don't you waste
your time on me"
Don't waste your time
"I've got troubles
of my own" I said
"And you can't
help me out so
Take your meditations
and your preparations
and ram it
up your snout!"
"But I got a
crystal ball"
he said
and held it
to the light
So I snatched it
all away from him
and I showed him
how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper
round my head
so I looked like
I was deep
I said some
mumbo-jumbo then
I told him he was
going to sleep
I robbed his rings
and pocketwatch
and everything else
I found
I had that sucker
hypnotized
he couldn't even
make a sound
I proceeded to tell him
his future then
as long as he was
hanging around
I said
"The price of meat
has just gone up
and your old lady
has just gone down!"
Look here brother
Who you jiving with
that cosmik debris?
Now is that
a real poncho or is
that a Sears poncho?
Don't you know
you could make
more money
as a butcher?
So don't you waste
your time on me"
Don't waste it
Don't waste your
time on me....
Shanti