DEAR SLIM
I WROTE YOU
BUT YOU STILL
AIN'T CALLIN'
I LEFT MY CELL
MY PAGER
AND MY HOME PHONE
AT THE BOTTOM
I SENT TWO LETTERS
BACK IN AUTUMN
YOU MUST NOT
HAVE GOT 'EM
THERE PROBABLY
WAS A PROBLEM
AT THE POST OFFICE
OR SOMETHIN'
SOMETIMES
I SCRIBBLE ADDRESSES
TOO SLOPPY
WHEN I JOT 'EM
BUT ANYWAYS
F### IT
WHAT'S BEEN UP MAN
HOW'S YOUR DAUGHTER
MY GIRLFRIEND'S
PREGNANT TOO
I'M 'BOUT TO BE A FATHER
IF I HAVE A DAUGHTER
GUESS WHAT
I'M -A CALL HER
I'M -A NAME HER
BONNIE
I READ ABOUT
YOUR UNCLE RONNIE TOO
I'M SORRY
I HAD A FRIEND
KILL HIMSELF
OVER SOME BITCH
WHO DIDN'T WANT HIM
I KNOW YOU PROB'LY
HEAR THIS EVERY DAY
BUT I'M
YOUR BIGGEST FAN
I EVEN GOT
THE UNDERGROUND S###
THAT YOU DID WITH SCAM
I GOT A ROOM FULL
OF YOUR POSTERS
AND YOUR PICTURES MAN
I LIKE THE S### YOU DID
WITH RUCKUS TOO
THAT S### WAS PHAT
ANYWAYS
I HOPE YOU GET THIS MAN
HIT ME BACK
JUST TO CHAT
TRULY YOURS
YOUR BIGGEST FAN
THIS IS STAN
DEAR SLIM
YOU STILL AIN'T CALLED
OR WROTE
I HOPE YOU
HAVE A CHANCE
I AIN'T MAD
I JUST THINK
IT'S F#####-UP
YOU DON'T ANSWER FANS
IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA
TALK TO ME
OUTSIDE YOUR CONCERT
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
BUT YOU COULDA
SIGNED AN AUTOGRAPH
FOR MATTHEW
THAT'S MY
LITTLE BROTHER MAN
HE'S ONLY SIX YEARS OLD
WE WAITED
IN THE BLISTERING COLD
FOR YOU
FOR FOUR HOURS
AND YOU JUST SAID NO
THAT'S PRETTY
S##### MAN
YOU'RE LIKE
HIS F#####' IDOL
HE WANTS TO BE
JUST LIKE YOU MAN
HE LIKES YOU
MORE THAN I DO
I AIN'T THAT MAD THOUGH
I JUST DON'T LIKE
BEIN' LIED TO
REMEMBER WHEN
WE MET IN DENVER
YOU SAID IF I WRITE YOU
YOU WOULD WRITE BACK
SEE I'M JUST LIKE YOU
IN A WAY
I NEVER KNEW MY FATHER
NEITHER
HE USED TO ALWAYS
CHEAT ON MY MOM
AND BEAT HER
I CAN RELATE TO
WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN'
IN YOUR SONGS
SO WHEN I HAVE
A S##### DAY
I DRIFT AWAY
AND PUT 'EM ON
'CAUSE I DON'T REALLY
GOT S### ELSE
SO THAT S### HELPS
WHEN I'M DEPRESSED
I EVEN GOT A TATTOO
WITH YOUR NAME
ACROSS THE CHEST
SOMETIMES
I EVEN CUT MYSELF
TO SEE HOW MUCH
IT BLEEDS
IT'S LIKE ADRENALINE
THE PAIN
IS SUCH A SUDDEN RUSH
FOR ME
SEE EVERYTHING YOU SAY
IS REAL
AND I RESPECT YOU
'CAUSE YOU TELL IT
MY GIRLFRIEND'S
JEALOUS 'CAUSE
I TALK ABOUT YOU 24-7
BUT SHE DON'T
KNOW YOU
LIKE I KNOW YOU SLIM
NO ONE DOES
SHE DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT WAS LIKE
FOR PEOPLE LIKE US
GROWIN' UP
YOU GOTTA CALL ME MAN
I'LL BE THE BIGGEST FAN
YOU'LL EVER LOSE
SINCERELY YOURS STAN
P.S. WE SHOULD BE
TOGETHER TOO
DEAR MR.
I'M-TOO-GOOD-TO-CALL-
OR-WRITE-MY-FANS
THIS'LL BE
THE LAST PACKAGE
I EVER SEND YOUR A##
IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS
AND STILL NO WORD
I DON'T DESERVE IT
I KNOW YOU GOT
MY LAST TWO LETTERS
I WROTE
THE ADDRESSES ON 'EM
PERFECT
SO THIS IS MY CASSETTE
I'M SENDIN' YOU
I HOPE YOU HEAR IT
I'M IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW
I'M DOING NINETY
ON THE FREEWAY
HEY SLIM
I DRANK
A FIFTH OF VODKA
YOU DARE ME TO DRIVE
YOU KNOW THAT SONG
BY PHIL COLLINS IN
THE AIR IN THE NIGHT
ABOUT THAT GUY
WHO COULDA
SAVED THAT OTHER GUY
FROM DROWNIN'
BUT DIDN'T
THEN PHIL SAW IT ALL
THEN AT HIS SHOW
HE FOUND HIM
THAT'S KINDA
HOW THIS IS
YOU COULDA
RESCUED ME
FROM DROWNIN'
NOW IT'S TOO LATE
I'M ON A THOUSAND
DOWNERS NOW
I'M DROWSY
AND ALL I WANTED WAS
A LOUSY LETTER
OR A CALL
I HOPE YOU KNOW
I RIPPED
ALL OF YOUR PICTURES
OFF THE WALL
I LOVED YOU SLIM
WE COULDA BEEN
TOGETHER
THINK ABOUT IT
YOU RUINED IT NOW
I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP
AND YOU DREAM ABOUT IT
AND WHEN YOU DREAM
I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP
AND YOU SCREAM
ABOUT IT
I HOPE YOUR
CONSCIENCE
EATS AT YOU
AND YOU CAN'T
BREATHE WITHOUT ME
SEE SLIM
SHUT UP B####
I'M TRYIN' TO TALK
HEY SLIM
THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
SCREAMIN' IN THE TRUNK
BUT I DIDN'T
SLIT HER THROAT
I JUST TIED HER UP
SEE I AIN'T LIKE YOU
'CAUSE IF
SHE SUFFOCATES
SHE'LL SUFFER MORE
AND THEN SHE'LL DIE TOO
WELL GOTTA GO
I'M ALMOST AT
THE BRIDGE NOW
OH S### I FORGOT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO SEND THIS S### OUT
DEAR STAN
I MEANT TO
WRITE YOU SOONER
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN BUSY
YOU SAID
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S
PREGNANT NOW
HOW FAR ALONG IS SHE
LOOK
I'M REALLY FLATTERED
YOU WOULD CALL
YOUR DAUGHTER THAT
AND HERE'S AN
AUTOGRAPH
FOR YOUR BROTHER
I WROTE IT
ON A STARTER CAP
I'M SORRY
I DIDN'T SEE YOU
AT THE SHOW
I MUST HAVE MISSED YOU
DON'T THINK
I DID THAT S###
INTENTIONALLY
JUST TO DISS YOU
BUT WHAT'S THIS S###
YOU SAID ABOUT
YOU LIKE TO
CUT YOUR WRISTS TOO
I SAY THAT S###
JUST CLOWNIN' DAWG
COME ON
HOW F#####-UP IS YOU
YOU GOT SOME ISSUES
STAN
I THINK YOU NEED
SOME COUNSELIN'
TO HELP YOUR A##
FROM BOUNCIN'
OFF THE WALLS
WHEN YOU GET
DOWN SOME
AND WHAT'S THIS S###
ABOUT US
MEANT TO BE TOGETHER
THAT TYPE OF S###'LL
MAKE ME NOT WANT US
TO MEET EACH OTHER
I REALLY THINK YOU
AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND
NEED EACH OTHER
OR MAYBE
YOU JUST NEED
TO TREAT HER BETTER
I HOPE YOU GET TO
READ THIS LETTER
I JUST HOPE IT
REACHES YOU IN TIME
BEFORE YOU
HURT YOURSELF
I THINK THAT
YOU'LL BE DOIN'
JUST FINE
IF YOU RELAX A LITTLE
I'M GLAD I INSPIRE YOU
BUT STAN
WHY ARE YOU SO MAD
TRY TO UNDERSTAND
THAT I DO WANT YOU
AS A FAN
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO SOME CRAZY S###
I SEEN THIS ONE S###
ON THE NEWS
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO
THAT MADE ME SICK
SOME DUDE WAS DRUNK
AND DROVE HIS CAR
OVER A BRIDGE
AND HAD HIS GIRLFRIEND
IN THE TRUNK
AND SHE WAS PREGNANT
WITH HIS KID
AND IN THE CAR
THEY FOUND A TAPE
BUT THEY DIDN'T SAY
WHO IT WAS TO
COME TO THINK ABOUT IT
HIS NAME WAS
IT WAS YOU
DAMN