I WORK DOWN
AT THE PIZZA PIT
AND I DRIVE
AN OLD HYUNDAI
I STILL LIVE
WITH MY MOM AND DAD
I'M FIVE FOOT THREE
AND OVERWEIGHT
I'M A
SCI-FI FANATIC
MILD ASTHMATIC
NEVER BEEN
TO SECOND BASE
BUT THERE'S
A WHOLE 'NOTHER ME
THAT YOU NEED TO SEE
GO CHECK OUT MYSPACE
'CAUSE ONLINE
I'M OUT
IN HOLLYWOOD I'M
SIX FOOT FIVE
AND I LOOK
DAMN GOOD
I DRIVE A MASERATI
I'M A BLACK BELT
IN KARATE
AND I LOVE A GOOD
GLASS OF WINE
IT TURNS GIRLS ON
THAT I'M MYSTERIOUS I
TELL 'EM I DON'T WANT
NOTHIN' SERIOUS
'CAUSE EVEN ON
A SLOW DAY
I CAN HAVE
A THREE WAY
CHAT WITH TWO WOMEN
AT ONE TIME
I'M SO MUCH
COOLER ONLINE
SO MUCH
COOLER ONLINE
I GET HOME
I KISS MY MOM
AND SHE
FIXES ME A SNACK
AND I
HEAD DOWN TO MY
BASEMENT BEDROOM
AND FIRE UP MY MAC
IN REAL LIFE
THE ONLY TIME I'VE
EVER EVEN
BEEN TO L.A.
WAS WHEN I
GOT THE CHANCE WITH
A MARCHIN' BAND
TO PLAY TUBA
IN THE ROSE PARADE
BUT ONLINE
I LIVE IN MALIBU I
POSED FOR CALVIN KLEIN
I'VE BEEN IN GQ
I'M SINGLE
AND I'M RICH
AND I GOT A SET
OF SIX PACK ABS
THAT WILL BLOW
YOUR MIND
IT TURNS GIRLS ON
THAT I'M MYSTERIOUS I
TELL 'EM I DON'T WANT
NOTHIN' SERIOUS
'CAUSE EVEN ON
A SLOW DAY
I CAN HAVE
A THREE WAY CHAT
WITH TWO WOMEN
AT ONE TIME
I'M SO MUCH
COOLER ONLINE
YEAH I'M
COOLER ONLINE
WHEN YOU GOT
MY KIND OF STATS
IT'S HARD TO
GET A DATE
LET ALONE
A REAL GIRLFRIEND
BUT I GROW
ANOTHER FOOT
AND I LOSE
A BUNCH OF WEIGHT
EVERY TIME I LOG IN
ONLINE
I'M OUT
IN HOLLYWOOD I'M
SIX FOOT FIVE
AND I LOOK
DAMN GOOD
EVEN ON
A SLOW DAY
I CAN HAVE
A THREE WAY
CHAT WITH TWO WOMEN
AT ONE TIME
I'M SO MUCH
COOLER ONLINE
YEAH I'M
COOLER ONLINE
HEY I'M SO MUCH
COOLER ONLINE
YEAH I'M
COOLER ONLINE
HEY I'M
COOLER ONLINE
YEAH YA OUGHTA
SEE ME ONLINE
HEY I'M
COOLER ONLINE